alcohol double standard

Alcohol Is A Convenient Excuse For Men, But It's A Weapon Used Against Women

As we have seen demonstrated in many sexual assault cases, alcohol is often an excuse for men, but a death sentence for women.

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Growing up, I remember watching movies about teen house parties showing the quintessential high school experience, and almost all of them follow the same format. Let me paint it for you:

The camera pans the middle-income house, often two stories, across crowds of teenagers who seem to be having a great time, laughing and making jokes with adult beverages in hand. We see the class clowns, the wallflowers, the girls with dresses too short and the "cool" boys playing some type drinking guy, more often than not, beer pong. It looks like a blast when the camera first enters the room, but we all know too well that everything is too good to be true.

A couple of rowdy jocks will eventually get into a fight, we'll probably see some boy throwing up into a bush outside the front door and some girl is being helped by her friends because she's too drunk to stand or say anything too clearly. No matter how much alcohol is being consumed, eventually, the camera will begin to focus on the girl who's too drunk and whose boyfriend is probably cheating or she's angry in some way.

Every time, she becomes the eyesore in the room full of chaos. She will get singled out for being too drunk. She should know better than to get that drunk, right? In some movies and TV shows, we see her just make a fool of herself by saying something stupid to her friends or the girl she hates and that's that. Still, all the guys there are off the hook for throwing up or having their own fights because they were drunk and that's what guys do. But if a girl gets drunk and that's what she does, it's shameful.

But in the scenarios that her actions are not left alone, some guy is going to have to swoop in to save the damsel in distress and he might even take advantage of her. She's going to fall into his arms because, well, she can't stand up so it's either into him or onto the floor. He's going to take it as a sign that she's interested in him and he's going to try to make some move on her when he gets her in the dark car, whether it's a kiss or a hand on her upper thigh. Some movies leave it at that and others show the sexual assault.

For guys, alcohol is an excuse for their actions. It's just "guys being guys" and their testosterone will run high so getting into verbal or physical altercation is inevitable. They'll vomit, they might break a vase from the house's mantel, and then everyone will forget anything happened.

But for girls, alcohol becomes a sword pointed at them. Girls should know their limits. They should know when enough is enough and how to act if they've drunk too much. They need to be able to take care of themselves and certainly not make a fool of themselves, not like boys do.

Not only does this issue affect girls on an everyday, moral level when they're tormented in school by the photos that were taken of them blacked out on the couch, but it also affects them on a deeper, more legal level.

In court, when a woman is undergoing a sexual assault trial, she is asked what she was wearing, how drunk she was and how she acted. If a guy is asked how much he drank, it's more of a game or reason for excuse.

He was almost blacked out so there was no possible way he could have done what is being claimed against him. Not only does the suspect then hold the sword against the girl, but so does the judge and everyone else in that room who believes alcohol can be an excusable reason for a boy not to be found guilty.

It's a double standard and an issue women face across this nation daily. We just saw it in the Brett Kavanaugh case who kept reminding the court over and over again that he likes to drink a couple of beers. When he does this, he's painted as the "All-American" boy who enjoys drinking a cold one with the boys and who loves his nation. It's seen as this sense of national pride for his country, an example of his freedom as a man.

But God forbid a woman EVER did that. If she sat in front of the court saying over and over and over again that she was there for some beers, get a little drunk, hang out with friends, and see where the night would lead her, she'd be seen as a slut. A whore. Incapable of being trusted. Dirty. Shameful. Because that's not how girls are supposed to act.

A woman must always second guess her every move and rethink all of her actions. A man can act like a boy and see it as excusable.

I read something the other day that really opened my eyes again to see just how messed up our nation's thinking is. The post reminded us that when Brock Turner was in court, people were defending him, claiming that he was young, wouldn't do anything to a woman, and if he was found guilty, the court shouldn't ruin his future by being too hard on him. Now, when Brett Kavanaugh was under investigation, the same exact things were said about him. That nothing should be done about a situation that happened a lifetime ago because we shouldn't ruin his future.

We shouldn't ruin the future of a 53-year-old man, but we should dismiss the treachery and turmoil a 51-year-old woman experienced for the last 30 years of her life.

Not only is this mindset hurtful to the women involved but also to the state of our country. If we don't hold each other accountable, there will never be true justice or trust. I for one am tired of living in a broken system and the only way to fix it is to understand the root of the problem.

We need to teach our sons and daughters the difference between right and wrong. We can't have two separate definitions for a single thing, one of those being for a girl and one for a boy. We need to have a clear understanding and moral grounds on subjects.

It's time to rewrite the narrative and paint a new picture. I'm sick of being stuck on a treadmill and I don't want my future children to jump on the same one that we've been on.

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20 Reasons You Should Date A Nurse, As Told By Their Significant Others

Who better to get advice from than the ones actually doing it?

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Have you ever wondered what it is like to date a nurse? Why do some people do it? Don't they have countless 12-hour shifts (including nights), bring home gross diseases, always tired, holidays are up in the air, and tell ungodly stories that make you nauseous? Well, there are a lot more bright sides we don't always see.

I could tell you that nurses are natural caretakers, compassionate, smart, a little sarcastic, patient, etc., or you can hear all that and more from people who actually date nurses.

So, I asked 20 couples to tell me why dating a nurse is the best decision you can make.

1. You get the best start to your day.

Ari and Victoria

"It means getting used to being woken up early in the morning by his goodbye kiss as he goes off to the hospital. As much as I hate my sleep being disturbed, I worry when I don't get my morning kiss." -Victoria

2. The BEST personalities come from nurses. 

Kristine And Makato

"You get to be with a person who has a genuine caring and nurturing personality. You get someone who can put themselves in your shoes and still find it within themselves to put aside their differences in order to make sure you are okay. You get a one of a kind individual that you feel can do anything because of what the field demands. You feel like the luckiest person in the world because of these things. ♥️♥️♥️" -Makato

3. No emergency will scare them away. 

Theresa and Andrew

"Ladies, you should date a nurse because you'll always have emergency care 24/7. Seriously, the other day I fell and cut my knee. He was over with supplies and basically performed a full freaking head to toe assessment before I even knew what happened. Also, have you ever seen a man in scrubs? It's really a win win situation" -Theresa

4. You probably don't need health insurance

Alyssa and Mike

"So I don't have to go to the doctor's every time my head hurts. You can help." -Mike

5. They have the best sense of style.

Jenny and Emily (basically each others significant others...bffs 4 lyfe)

"Date a nurse because they are kind, compassionate, and always there to take care of you. Sick? BOOM, they know what to do. Need someone that you can trust to talk to? BOOM, they'll listen and never tell a soul what you said. Like a girl in uniform? BOOM, scrubs all day every day." -Jenny

6. You have your own walking, talking, WebMD (without the whole "you're probably dying" thing). 

Taylor and Matt

"Date a nurse because anytime I do something stupid like fall in the river, dislocate my knee fishing, cut my hands on rusty objects, knock teeth loose, get sick, or worry about medical problems, I have my own personal WebMD." -Matt

7. You get random check ups. 

Hannah and Robert

"I was watching TV, and out of nowhere, she's checking my pulse. She tells you you're breathing too much. She tells you you're not breathing enough. It's constant check up's." -Robert

(In our defense, we check peoples respiratory rate for a living. I know when I see 24 breaths/min or 14 breaths/min. Let me be.)

8. Your anxiety will be diminished and you save a ton of money. 

Ari and Victoria

"I spend way less on doctor bills and medical supplies now that I can ask my boyfriend my medical questions instead of having to go to the doctor to be told I'm perfectly healthy. He keeps my hypochondria in check for sure. My response to the littlest pain or annoyance is no longer 'call an ambulance'."-Victoria

9. They know how to call out bullshit. 

Cheryl and Carmine

"You do not get a lot of sympathy - unless you are REALLY sick or hurt !" -Carmine

10. They are always willing to help out. Because of this, YOU get to help out by becoming a practice dummy! 

Sammi and Caleb

"When dating a nurse you become a patient 24/7. Any new thing she's learning in class, gets practiced on you. If you're thinking about dating a nurse I'll tell you this, DO IT! They'll always be looking to help anyone who's sick or not in a great place mentally and I believe that to be the greatest trait anyone could have and I see that in a majority of nurses" -Caleb

11. They change you for the better. 

Erica and Jack

"Okay so she makes me grossly healthy, when I want burger king or something like that she offers to make healthy burgers, she convinced me to quit cigarettes because it is unhealthy, she checks my blood pressure constantly and when it's bad she lets me know and I go to the doctor's" -Jack

12. You basically have your own superhero.

Bryanna and Ryan

"Uhhh, duhhh you should date a nurse because they save lives; you're basically dating a superhero." -Ryan

Isn't this all we wanted as kids?

13. There is no such thing as being "too gross". They've seen it all. 

Jocelynn and Brandon

"You should date a nurse because you'll have someone who's able to patch you up after a stupid night out with the guys. Plus, you get a girl who's always responsible and selfless who wears her heart on her sleeve on the job & off. Knows how to be serious, yet still manages to use her sense of humor. Also, I get to pick my nose & fart without her being disgusted by it (MOST TIMES)" -Brandon

14. You're confused a lot because of all the terminology they are excited to share with you, but  don't worry they'll explain it. (We know the doctors never do *cough* *cough* another reason to date a nurse). 

Julia and Will

"You confuse me with words of nursing that I've never heard of or can barely even pronounce. Be prepared for overthinking and stress. A good thing about dating a nurse would be they know how to help when you get sicky, and it's hard to gross them out." -Will

15. They'll deal with your shit...sometimes

Zoe and Bobby

"Cause they take care of you when you're sick, lol. And they have a lot of patience..."

16. Are you a nurse dating a nurse? You will understand each other and their struggles immensely. 

Stanley and Rachel

She said : "You should date a nurse because they're so caring & know how to take care of you & are really smart & hardworking (aka my baby)"

He said: "Date a nurse because they are the most passionate of people. They care harder than anyone else and they will always be concerned with you and making sure you are okay, not just outside with cuts and bruises but on the inside where it counts in your heart. Also like, we just get each other and understand the time and work it takes and that's friggin huge"

AKA, they're basically the same human.

17. You kinda sorta maybe get a free pass to do stupid shit, because your nurse will be there. 

Erin and Joe

"You can do stupid shit and not have to worry about going to the hospital because she'll take care of you when you ultimately get hurt"-Joe

18. You have a knight in shining...scrubs? Yea, scrubs. Scrubs are definitely more moveable than armor. They're always ready to come save you.  

Mary and Nate

"I would say, 'Dating a nurse is peace of mind knowing that they have things under control when you slice your finger open even though they're an hour away' -Nate

19. If you're still wondering if dating a nurse is best for you, take it from these ladies who LIVE WITH ONE. (They're basically each others significant others).

Sarah (the nurse) with all the ones who put up with her: Maggie, Jenna, Claudia, Sophie, and Mellissa

"They complain about a headache but won't take medicine. They will be unavailable for hours at a time when exams are coming up" -Jenna

"When they come home tired from clinical and get drunk they want to kiss everyone" -Sophie

"You'll learn more than you ever wanted to know about the human body. They'll talk sense into you if you go too deep into WebMD" -Jenna (again; she was very passionate about this topic)

"They become your own personal WebMD, more logical though"- Mellissa

This is a confirmation that everyone else's statements are correct.

20. But honestly though....

Jess and Filip

"The real question is, why would you NOT want to date a nurse?!?" -Filip

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Newsflash! It's Time For Everybody To Love Everybody

Come on, people, get it together.

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I, personally, think it's time for everybody to just start loving each other. Now listen, this doesn't mean you need to actually love everyone, but at least accept them. Acceptance is the closest thing we are gonna get to loving each other.

Let me tell you a little something: politics at the moment are very messy. No matter which side it is, it's messy. There is no denying that. If you try to deny that, then good for you, you're not helping anybody. If you really want some change, you need to start being the bigger person. Change isn't about who can yell about something louder or who has the "better" argument, it's about being respectful.

Just because someone has an opposing view does not mean you need to yell at them. Does yelling solve anything ever? Maybe temporarily, like for 2 minutes, but that's about as long as you're gonna get. There's absolutely no need to indirectly say something about certain individuals on social media. Yes, there is freedom of speech, but everybody should keep in mind why they have that right and why they still have it.

I do not understand why it is so hard to be respectful of one another. If someone goes after another person talking about how absolutely terrible it is of them thinking something should be illegal, the person who's being yelled at should respectfully ignore the other individual's disrespectful remarks. If the individual does not stop, then they are not aware that they are making no difference in the world.

What I'm trying to get at here is that in order to love each other, we really need to accept all our differences. If we really want change we need to go right to the sources, not just yell at each other from across the street. If everyone learned to accept each other, life would be a whole lot easier. Is this ever going to happen? Of course not. This is the solution though, whether you think so or not.

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