On November 14, 2017, residents of northern Alabama were startled by a series of loud booms which could be heard echoing across the state. These booms, which have been described as sounding like explosions, were said to shake houses and glass windows. Confusion settled as residents took their reports of the event to social media. Typically, someone from a local news station can provide some sort of explanation; this is good as it quells conspiracy theories and gives people the sense that the world will remain in tact. However, this time no one knows what’s going on.

Residents reasonably assumed that the booms could have been caused by an earthquake, but the National Weather Service counteracted that idea by saying that nothing on the USGS indicated an earthquake. With more confusions circling the mystery, NASA took a swing at providing an explanation. NASA calculated that the boom had a force of fewer than ten tons of TNT, but was able to provide no explanation.

Bill Cooke, head of NASA’s Meteoroid Environmental Office stated that “No one can figure out the cause.” Which is a terrifying thing to hear for a resident of Alabama, especially after finishing season two of "Stranger Things." Currently, I’m highly prone to believing conspiracy theories, and NASA’s head of Meteoroid Environmental Office just gave me the go-ahead to believe any explanation I want.

To make matters even stranger, these booms have been heard across the entire world. The locations span from Chicago to Moscow, and no one has been able to provide a sure-fire explanation. With nowhere else left to turn, residents looked to the man with infinite knowledge, James Spann. Spann retweeted multiple posts about the booms, but to Alabama’s despair, the man who controls the weather could not explain the booms.

On Saturday, Jefferson County Emergency Management Center tweeted, “If you feel the earth shake or hear a roar we hope you’re prepared! It’s Iron Bowl Saturday.” So far, this has been the only solid explanation we’ve been given for the booms. The tweet doesn’t go into detail, but it lays out just enough information to understand what’s really going on here: Big Al is an elephant, elephants are relatively large, their footsteps would make a definitive boom. Because of their size, elephants can’t travel by car, so Big Al would have to walk to the Iron Bowl. Now, imagine if Big Al needs a stand-in elephant in case he gets tired, that’s two elephants stomping. Two elephants. Two booms. Are you following me?

While the rest of the world worries that we are at interdimensional war, or that the government is building a secret underground society, I’ll be living in peace knowing that the booms heard across Alabama were merely caused by the Iron Bowl. Sure, my explanation may be flawed, but it’s the only thing preventing me from believing that aliens are here and demolishing the planet to make way for an intergalactic highway.