Being an only child, I am used to flying solo. I grew up spending lots of time running around outside by myself and doing my own thing. My mother also taught me how to be self-sufficient and I've learned how to take care of myself. Being an introvert has always been part of my being and I am perfectly OK with that.

In my twenty short years of life so far, I have fallen in love with two people. Both relationships lasted quite some time and the complexity of these relationships were unique. I fell in love for different reasons and we made memories that I hold close to my heart. So much happened, both good and bad on both sides, and it is impossible to put all of the feelings I felt into words. No matter how things ended, I look back on moments and I smile, because I know it is all part of the greater journey of my life, and I have nothing but respect for them. Although relationships are different and the feelings that are felt during each one are unique to that relationship, I have noticed a common flaw on my end now that I have had time to step back and see the bigger picture.

The problem that I always ran into is that I would fall in love with someone else before falling in love with myself. Then, I would become frustrated when I realized my being had absorbed itself into this other person because I hadn't begun to know myself. My independent spirit that desired to do her own thing demanded to be set free, even though my heart clung to the other person.

In the beginning of the relationships, I would throw myself into the relationship and let it consume me, and would realize this later on and have to take a bit of a step back in order to keep that independent part of myself satisfied. The other person would be confused by this, and would break it off after not being able to accept my desire to have pursuits and interests outside of the relationship such as other friends and activities. Moving on from those loves became successful when I recognized that independent spirit inside of me and I no longer became afraid of letting it be a priority in my life.

It has been this time of being single that I have learned to accept myself because I love myself instead of striving to have acceptance from another person because of my love for them. Until I can find someone to support and encourage the part of me that desires to have pursuits and interests outside the relationship along sharing a life with that person, I am perfectly happy being Miss Independent.