I don't condone dwelling on the past to the point of bitterness toward oneself or others, but I do believe healthy retrospection can be very productive. I used to scroll through old Facebook pictures and even recent, but still old, Instagram pictures and ask myself the infamous question, "What was I thinking?" I would observe my abused hair, the swim clothes and pajamas I wore to school and the heavy hoodie I wore every day in Florida heat with agonizing disdain. What was I thinking?

Now that I'm older, I've had a change of heart. I still feel a little sad when I look at those pictures, but not because my style hasn't developed or because I looked and acted awkward. Looking back now, I could not care less how I looked. The only things I would change about preteen and teenage me are internal. From the way I viewed myself to my desire to fit in, here is how 20-year-old me would advise teenage me:

1. All the things you think you need to change before you love your personality... Irrelevant. Just love it now.

Teenage me, in the future, you are going to be exposed to words like introvert, empathy and ISFP that explain some of why you are the way you are. But you can practice unconditional love toward yourself before you gain understanding regarding the psychological intricacies of your personality. You want people to accept and appreciate you, but people are drawn to confidence, not insecurity or people-pleasing. Even if some people cannot appreciate your authenticity, focus on the ones that do and tend to those relationships. As life goes on, you’ll notice people going to great lengths just to feel unique and to stand out. Be avant-garde now and practice your originality despite what people consider to be “cool.”

2. All the flaws you think you need to correct before you love your body... Irrelevant. Just love it now. (Stretch marks to come,FYI. Be sure to love those too.)

Girl, your body is going to change drastically. I’m five years into the future and I'm still witnessing its metamorphosis, between the crazy college diet, varying levels of stress, haircuts and piercings, etc. I know no one around you is raving about your natural afro, curvy frame and brown skin at the moment, but I want to let you in on a secret: societal beauty norms and the male gaze are extremely fickle. If you hinge your self perception on the fluctuating opinions of the boys in your class and the girls in the bathroom pinching at their already thin thighs, you won’t have a chance at consistent self-love. Loving your body does not require any physical change. It requires you to wake up in the morning and make the decision that you are beautiful and simply walk in that truth. Again, if you are confident in yourself, people will follow suit. Even more rewarding, when you stop critiquing yourself, you will project that openness and see beauty in everyone around you.

3. All the ways you think you need to change before you let God love you... Irrelevant. Receive love now.

This is a big one. You don’t really understand the concept of grace. There is a lot of love you are keeping at bay because you think you need to be rid of some of your bad habits before you approach a relationship with God. You could not be more wrong! God is love and love has transforming power. This is going to be the most important relationship in your life because it will smooth out your flaws like sandpaper over time. There is something about being loved, flaws and all, that equips you with a supernatural ability to slowly transform into the person you dream about being. As soon as you remove your identity from fickle things like academic performance, the way your community sees you, and how talented you are at any given thing and put it in the knowledge that you are loved for who you are, you will be totally free. You will be able to explore your relationships, gifts and experiences so much more fully because failure will never threaten your self-esteem.

4. Find your pending "10,000 hours"and embrace it.

Lastly, please embrace your natural talents. We liked that book by Malcolm Gladwell that claimed that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. For some reason, your first response to that was to rush and find a new hobby to learn and become good at. Though I encourage you to always build new skills, I want you to see the value in the skills that come to you intuitively. In school, people get the most positive feedback for being amazing athletes and good singers, but skills become more diversified as you get older. So don’t be so quick to discount your experiences with writing, mock United Nations and science fairs. Don't be so quick to disregard the hours you've already put toward the abilities you have. Keep working hard at the things you enjoy. Even if these skills aren’t hot now, they’ll make a place for you when you least expect it.