Many of you know, my dad was a huge part of my life, and I lost him suddenly in the last few months of my senior year. Since then, I have had friends experience the same thing, and they have asked me for advice for their similar situations.
This is the advice I give them. If you personally, or you know someone who has gone through something tough like losing someone suddenly or even losing someone in general, take this advice or leave it, but these were a few things that helped me, that could help someone else.
1. Stay busy
For me, timing helped me do this because I was in the middle of my tennis season, end of the year events were wrapping up, and graduation was quickly approaching. Staying busy with friends, family, or activities is important to keep your mind off of things.
2. Stay active
I found that taking longer, more strenuous walks, or going to the gym, or playing a sport was very helpful. Like I said above, I was in the middle of my tennis season, so it was easy to keep my mind focused on something else, which also helped clear my head. (insert facts about endorphins.
3. Include comedy in your life
Ever since my dad passed, my mom and I have incorporated Jimmy Fallon into our nightly routine. We enjoy his type of humor, so before we go to bed, we believe in going to bed on a happy note. Jimmy Fallon puts us in a good mood before we go to bed. Including something funny like a TV show or Netflix series makes things a little more bearable.
4. Be creative
One of the main reasons I started writing was because I had thoughts that I wanted to write down and share with others. Being creative is very open to interpretation. You can paint, draw, write, or film, whatever helps the most.
5. Reflect
With my dad, I wrote down fun memories we had together, just so as the years pass, I will have those memories I can reflect on when my memories aren’t as sharp. Write down as much as you can. Also as part of this reflection period, take time for yourself. This is for you and nobody else. This is your recovery time and you decide what steps you want to take.
6. Stay in your routine
This is probably my most important point of all. Although it is hard, TRY to stay on track. Your mind will wander, and it will be difficult, I know, but it is something that is important, and your daily routine is key. This is also important because it keeps you accountable, and responsible, and makes it feel like life is still moving on, even though you are hurting. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut and not want to do anything but this keeps your mind and body productive, and in check.
The recovery process is difficult. And I understand that 100%. No death is easy, especially when it is sudden, or that person is close to you. Lean on people, be there for people, learn and reflect on this hard process.
As a side note, tell people you love them as much as possible. You never know when it will be time for someone to leave your life.