Advice Can Be Dumb and Here's Why

Advice Can Be Dumb and Here's Why

In a world that seems forever set on swaying you there is strength behind staying true
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I feel like a relatively conflicted in the fact that often times I am either begging for advice or rejecting it entirely. The advice that I receive I only truly value if it is something I have asked for. It's much like a hug, it's only really enjoyed if both parties want to participate. I have often had advice interjected in my life when I did not desire it in the slightest and this felt like nothing but an inconvenience at the time as well as currently when similar situations happen.

Every time I received unwanted advice, I always examine the person giving it and try to size up what their qualifications might be. Almost every time I found something in that individual that made me view them as grossly unqualified. If it was relationship advice, I always found myself looking closely at the all the relationships that the person injected their advice into my life was and I focused specifically on the number of failed relationships. Putting their input into my life often made me view them under a microscope. I examined their choices, their life, and who they were as a person to see if they were worthy of given any sort of dictation of my actions. Most times I found them entirely inadequate. I know that there are many troubles with college. Many people are under the impression that you shouldn't have to go through a variety of hoops to start your job and view college as nothing more than a scam, but I find something very beautiful in qualification.

I almost wish sometimes that there was some sort of certification process for advice givers. I wish they had to sit through a series of classes on how to give advice without having the person you're advising feel like they are being invaded. Also how to properly examine yourself before giving advice so that you don't come off in a hypocritical manner. I never felt that the advice, even sometimes when given by friends was given in a loving manner but rather in a nagging or invasive one. I only really experienced this when the advice was being offered by individuals I did not want it from. If it is given to me without warrant, then it is obviously going to be less appreciated than receiving it from someone I actually desired. I rarely found a whole lot of qualification in those who were telling me what I should be doing with my life. When examining their life and choices, I often times found it not far superior to my own if not worse.

The thing about opinions if that they all differ and just because you have them does not inherently make them correct. I find this something to be exceedingly mindful of when coming in contact with individuals who are making a statement on your life. Opinions on who you are, what you are doing, where you're going, and if it is wrong or right, is something I do think most human beings will often be faced with. However, it is something I have learned to filter out. My own opinion of myself is the most important one as I am the only person who will spend twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, with myself for as long as I live. The only thing I truly can't escape is myself and thus I hold my own views on myself to be higher than those of the people around me, even if those people are individuals I truly care for.

I have received a plethora of advice over the years on a variety of subjects in my life. Often times, it is unfortunately advice that I did not wish or ask for. Because of this, I weigh the words that are being said to me before making the decision if they are applicable to me or not. Often times, I find not, but there have been times in my life where I have been genuinely surprised about the wisdom others have held for me. However, I am forever thinking of the advice provided to me and if it is something that is right for me.

I feel as though a vast majority of the things I have written here were a fire filled complain session of how I hate to be bossed around or told what to do. I do realize it can easily come across as such, but do truly hope that someone reading this will be able to relate the feeling of others pushing their opinions, thoughts, or agenda into your life. The hypocrisy behind the words of people who can often even be close to you is disappointing and at times enraging. As I grow and learn I have begun to figure out who I am, what I am, and am trying to take control of my feelings. This has been no easy task and with this has come a variety of opinions on the life I am living and the person I am becoming. My friends hold different advice than my parents do, my teachers have different advice from my lovers, and the strangers that have offered me advice have been perhaps the most unique of them all. My emotions are on a roller coaster and really are only to be truly understood by me. Thus, the advice I hold for myself I regard higher than that of individuals who get little sneak peaks of my life here and there.

I do value those who want to guide me. I am also aware that as I grow into an adult who is learning who I am, what I want, and who I'm going to love (if anyone at all) that it is also important for me to listen to the small still voice within my heart. My gut will always have a feeling and although that feeling has indeed proved to be wrong before, it is still important that I trust it. The voice inside me is one that I know well and these instinctual feelings are ones that I know no one in my life could understand or feel for me.

Advice to me often feelings like a judgement or a naggy warning whether it be given from friends, family, or authority figures, however I truly try my best to only absorb the kind that comes from an authentic loving, caring place. I continue to grow each day and as I do I hold tight to the good advice I have received, even though I often times feel like that sort of advice has been scarce.

I know who I am. I know what I am. In my heart, I want to hold tight to the feeling that I know what is best for me. My input on who I am should be the loudest and most important. As opinions are thrown at me at rapid speed in order to change my actions, choices, or beliefs, I cling to the idea that the person Lizzie Bowen is will remain regardless of what others think of her. It is my life after all. I have been given only one. To waste it would be the greatest of sins.

Cover Image Credit: freephotos.cc

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20 Fun Facts To Use When Introducing Yourself

As we embark on the semester, we are put on the spot in order to share interesting details about ourselves. This article discloses possible fun facts to tell others!
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After experiencing my first week of classes, I have learned that every student needs a handy-dandy list of fun facts about themselves to tell other people. Many professors use the first couple of classes to learn about their students, so you may need to think about who you are and how you want to introduce yourself to your professor and classmates. We all have that one go-to interesting fact about ourselves, but sometimes you just have to mix it up!

1. My favorite hobby is...

What do you do in your free time? Personally, I love to stay active! I am a competitive Latin dancer and enjoy teaching and taking Zumba classes, going to the gym, and hiking.

2. I love...

Is there something, someone, or somewhere that you love? What makes your heart ache? What do you miss when it's gone? I can say that I love my friends because I feel my most confident when I'm surrounded by those who love and support me.

3. I look up to...

Is there someone you adore? Who mesmerizes you? Who do you wish to learn from? After watching "A Ballerina's Tale," I discovered Misty Copeland. In 2015 she became the first African American ballet dancer to become the Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theatre. Her passion, grace, and strength continuously motivate me to better myself as an athlete and an individual.

4. This art speaks to me because...

Coco Chanel said, "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." This encourages me to always follow my heart no matter what. I will never follow society's standards and norms because they do not define me. Chanel's saying definitely influences my character and lifestyle.

5. A funny and/or embarrassing memory of me is...

When you make others laugh they want to spend time and make memories with you! Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You will come off as down to earth, easy-going, and loyal.

6. My siblings or lack thereof influenced me by...

I can go on and on about my brother, who is 10 years older than I. We have opposite personalities and despite the age gap, we're quite close.

7. My pet(s) are my life because...

Only sad people don't like hearing about furry creatures, even if your pets are slimy and slithering creatures all human beings enjoy hearing pet tales!

8. I'm afraid of...

Your personality can be revealed by your likes and dislikes, including the things that you fear. I am terrified of change and the unknown, hence, the future is an anxiety-inducing topic to discuss for me.

9. I am the way I am because...

What have you gone through in life that has shaped you into who you are today? Remember to be open minded and allow yourself to open up to your peers. You may be surprised by how others respond and/or what others have endured as well.

10. The most unusual item that can be found in your dorm...

This is a fun fact about yourself that can easily liven up an awkward conversation. Think about your quirks and differences! One item I have in my dorm is my teddy bear, Peter, whom I like to joke is my boyfriend.

11. My dream job is...

In college, "What's your major?" is a widespread question. Nonetheless, skip the boring statement of "I'm majoring in..." and go in depth on what your dream job is (hopefully your major factors in to this dream of yours).

12. My hidden talents are...

Angelina Jolie is a knife thrower. Kendall Jenner can produce bird noises. Amanda Seyfried can crochet and knit. Is there anything special you can do? Some people have rare and unique talents, maybe you can think of some hidden talents of your own!

13. My guilty pleasure is...

I will say it a million times: don't be shy when introducing yourself to new people! I'll start by divulging my guilty pleasure: Youtube's family vlogging channel, "OKBaby"!

Check them out: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvUCbnwzySKgbKiB_...



14. Some activities on my bucket list are...


This is an easy way to grab people's attention and find others with similar desires as you. Be an adventurer! Go out of your comfort zone!

15. Talk about your best friend...

How would your best friend describe you? What do you love to do with your best friend?

16. Talk about an accomplishment of yours...

You are incredible and have achieved so much! Reveal something that you are proud of — show off a little!

17. This one time at my job...

Bosses breathing down your neck. Curious coworkers asking personal questions. Cursing customers who never leave you alone. Your job can be filled with tons of hilarious situations that can easily entertain a crowd.

18. During the summer...

Any scars with stories? Any summer flings? Any lessons learned from the tanning too long? Now that summer is over, disclose memories that can leave positive impressions on others.

19. I volunteer at...

Do you do any community service? Share a funny moment while you were volunteering. What did you learn while there? Would you continue?

20. [blank] is meaningful to me because...



What do you appreciate in life? What brightens your day? What makes you fall in love? What does someone have to do to make you smile?

Finally, remember to be outgoing! Reveal that three-mile smile and open your arms to learning about others. Spread smiles, love, and happiness.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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5 Questions I Have For All Artists

"We all are [different]. But there's something kind of fantastic about that, isn't there?"

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The other day, I randomly started writing a fan letter to my favorite film director, Wes Anderson. (You know, what fun, extroverted college kids do with their free time.) From eighth to twelfth grade, I revered him as an unparalleled genius without thinking very critically about his work. I loved the visual aesthetic, quirkiness, and humor of the films endlessly, blind to what I now recognize as flawed stories lacking diversity in more ways than one. Nevertheless, I still admire a lot about his films and wanted to know if he has a unique process. This is what inspired my compulsion to write him a letter full of semi-artistic, semi-intellectual, semi-pretentious questions. It was only when I looked back at some of these questions that I realized I wanted to ask these questions to everyone who has ever thought of themselves as an artist or creator (which, if I'm not mistaken, is pretty much everyone.)

Here are 5 questions I have of anyone who has ever worked to create art, for either themselves or for others:

1. How do you know whether you’re generating a meaningful idea or merely indulging in something self serving? Is it possible that the latter option is just as meaningful?

2. What specific qualities do you look for in the people you work with?

*Come to think of it, Wes Anderson's answer to this is probably just "Bill Murray."

3. Did you ever feel different or misunderstood growing up? If so, how did this shape you or manifest in your work as a creator?

4. What is your philosophy on beauty? What, if anything, is profoundly beautiful to you?

5. What do you care about putting into the world? By putting it into the world, what is your goal? (If you have one.)

I may not ever get answers to these questions from Wes or anyone else, but I hope anyone who feels inclined can search themselves for their own unique answers. I'll certainly try to.

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