Ah yes, my childhood has been the spectacle of my friends who love hearing the stories of my years when my four older siblings were still in high school to harass me. My older sister, Hayley, started writing newspaper stories when she was in high school about all the stories that we never told our parents about when our older brothers were “babysitting.” I would like to carry on these stories because frankly I could write a book over all the terrors we went through as little kids without my mom and dad’s knowledge. A twelve year age gap is what lies between me and my oldest brother, so I think you can only imagine the things I went through. I hope you’re sitting down and have emptied your bladders because these are my memories of being the youngest.

Alien Invasion

I know this sounds quite weird but bear with me. So while my mom and dad were on a date, my three older brothers had to watch me and my older sister. Normal right? Well, then my second oldest brother, Connor, went outside and started flashing a flashlight at the windows. My oldest brother, Drew, then tried to scare us by saying “I think someone is outside!” Naturally we freaked out. Drew told us that we all needed to go outside to investigate. We start walking near the corn field and see a bunch of corn knocked over. Drew then yelled, “It looks like a crop circle. You know what that means? ALIENS!!!” Hayley and I screamed in terror. Drew started chasing us around and then picked up a crumpled up shirt from the ground. “This must be his clothes so that means he’s naked!” We all screamed again and ran inside the house. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Scared out of my mind, Drew came into the bathroom to calm me down. I still to this day am terrified of a real alien invasion happening.

Don’t Look At It!

So when I was little my mom and dad would go on a monthly trip to Sam’s Club. When the night before rolled around, we all sat at the table to make a list of what all we wanted for them to get. Hayley and I always requested Ring Pops and Wonder Balls. While mom and dad were out at Sam’s Club, the world’s best babysitters were the spectacle yet again. Hayley and Drew were watching the great Saved By The Bell while I rolled around on the couch. All was going well until I rolled off. My knee hit the side table at the end of the couch when I cried out in pain. Drew took me to my parent’s bathroom to examine the cut. I was freaking out because blood was scary so Drew said the famous lines, “Don’t look at it or it will start bleeding!” I of course then looked at it to see that it was gushing blood. He then screamed, “You looked at it! AHHH!” We then hear our parents coming up the driveway so he stuck a bandaid over the cut and told me if I didn’t tell mom he would get me The Freeze. So I didn’t tell mom, but three days later I could barely walk and my mom took off the bandaid. She shrieked in horror of my infected cut that looked like it would need a couple stitches. I still have the scar on my leg from it, and I guess you could say Drew got in some trouble after that.

All Taped Up

I guess you could say I was quite the annoying little sister. I would constantly follow my older siblings and ask them stupid questions such as, “Where do farts come from?” So one summer afternoon Connor had enough. He had to go help out at the basketball camp at the school but I kept asking him to take me to The Freeze. He finally got so annoyed that he grabbed a roll of duct tape and persisted to tape my legs, arms, and mouth shut. To top it all off, he then put me on the sidewalk in direct sun so I would get really sunburned. After he left, I somehow got back on the porch and opened the door. I crawled to the bathroom door where Drew was and banged my head against the door so he would open it. He opened the door and started dying of laughter, but later on he got mad. After he helped get all the tape off, he called my mom at work to tell her what Connor did to me. She wasn’t the cheeriest after that call. His punishment was to take me to The Freeze and let me get whatever I wanted. It was great minus the horrible sunburn I received.

As you can see, being the youngest puts you with all the harshness of older siblings. Sure I love all these memories and love telling them for the pure shock factor and hearing, “They really did that?” My childhood was one for the books and I can’t wait to share more!