I’ve been trying to write this article for a few hours now. No, not because I didn’t know what to write – I knew what I wanted to write since last week, but sometimes, for me, sitting down and starting things can be a little tough. I hiked to my favorite study spot a little while ago, in the hopes that sitting in my favorite hallway where nobody ever goes won’t be too distracting a place to get work done. Naturally, I opened my computer and spent forever going through my emails and my Facebook notifications and then spent forever picking the perfect Spotify playlist to write to, even though I know that I write best in silence anyway.

I was officially diagnosed with ADHD somewhere between my sophomore and junior years of high school, but in reality, it was something that I’ve dealt with for a lot of my life. My parents have told me that they first had me tested when I was six, something I have no recollection of. Even being that little, my family and teachers were meeting to make sure that I got the proper help I needed. It’s something I’m really very lucky to have received because so many kids get their symptoms brushed off, being excused as typical child rowdiness or laziness.

By the time I was a junior, I was able to start on a medication that would make navigating through the rest of high school so much easier. Without it, I’m not sure how I would have made it through to graduation. I nearly failed out of Junior year, something I’m not proud of, but it’s helped knowing what caused my downfall, and since then, I’ve been able to prevent it from happening again. I graduated from senior year with a higher GPA, more difficult classes and, most importantly, a better self-esteem and understanding of myself.

Since then, I’ve come off the medication that helped me get to college instead of being grateful for the fact that my case is mild enough to do so. Sure, life can be hard sometimes, but that’s just the way I’ve learned to live. I’d like to think it makes me a stronger person to be where I am today, in college and working hard to get a degree in a school I love.

For many adults just like me, they continue to fight and achieve their goals. Adult ADHD is not often diagnosed, with only 20 percent of all adults who have the disorder getting treatment for it. For something so common, it’s never a good thing that so many people go without getting help. It’s something that can affect relationships, hobbies and maybe most obviously, school and work.

ADHD is more than just texting your friends instead of listening to a lecture. For me, it’s a lot of late nights spent wondering how I could possibly be stupid enough to forget to do yet another task somebody asked me to do. It’s having a planner filled with a week or two full of every assignment that needs to get done, only to have week after that where absolutely nothing is written down. It’s wanting to get work done so so so badly because you love school but struggling to get through even a page.

It’s getting distracted even during things you want to do, like watching your favorite TV show, because it’s hard for you to keep your focus on one tiny screen like that. It’s always carrying band-aids because you bite your fingers to the point where they bleed without you even noticing. It’s tearing up in your guidance counselor’s office because you’re worried that no office will ever want you, and maybe you should have followed your dreams of being a firefighter, a police officer, a dancer, a chef – a job where everything is go go go and you’re always on your feet.

It’s something the people around might notice. Students and teachers can get the impression that I’m not trying even when I’m trying more than ever before. My roommates might notice when I jump whenever they walk in -- having been doing something stimulating like tracing patterns on my skin with makeup brushes or picking at my legs with pens. My friends notice when we sit in the dining hall, talking after finishing our food and I scrap the plate with a fork repeatedly while telling a story or spin my cup around a finger while gushing about my day. I’m always moving.

However, this is all such an integral part of me that I can’t imagine my life without it. Having ADHD isn’t something I’m proud of, but all that I’ve managed to do and continue to do while having it is. Every time I sit down and study for a long time, or get homework done in a reasonable amount of time, I realize that I can do this and that things are getting better. Forty percent of adults don’t carry their ADHD into adulthood from childhood, and who knows? Maybe mine will disappear as well. After all, I’ve only been an adult for half a year. It’ll be interesting to see where things go from here.

I owe my family and friends the utmost support and love for giving me the same all these years. I owe to other kids and adults with ADHD to write this down and tell them that they’re still smart and incredible and capable. And, mostly, I owe it to myself to become something amazing and to keep pushing forward. Let’s see where the future takes us!