I want to start off by saying that I love being adopted. I don't wish for my life to be any different, and I wouldn't change the past, either. I love all the amazing people it's brought into my life. I love all my amazing family and friends. But most importantly, I love the amazing mom it's given me. I could not have been any luckier when it comes to my mom. She is amazing, understanding, strong, and someone I will always admire.
But some days being adopted can be annoying.
As a child, my race or my culture made sense to me...until third grade. My teacher assigned the class a culture project about our families and where we come from. Both my parents are Polish, therefore I know quite a bit about Polish culture. I was so excited and couldn't wait to talk about my family's culture and traditions. When it was my turn to present, I stood up in front of all of my classmates, looked at their faces, and said, "My family has a very strong Polish culture." The minute those words left my mouth, confusion appeared on everyone's faces. I saw them whispering to one another; some of them were making faces. I felt my face getting red and my hands start to sweat. I thought I had done something wrong or said the wrong thing.
I was adopted and came to the United States when I was three months old. As I've gotten older, some common questions I encounter are "Wait...you're an Asian girl with a white girl accent?" or "You're from Korea but you don't speak Korean?" I don't take it personally, I just simply respond with, "I'm adopted." Most people nod their head in an understanding fashion, but others are still confused and continue to question.
Look, I get it, you look at me and you can clearly tell I'm Asian. Anyone would assume that I only practice Asian culture and not Polish culture, which I understand. People always ask questions after I tell them I'm adopted, which is also fine, but they always want my whole life story. But they don't really want my whole life story, they just want the easy, short, five-minute version. Even when I'm done that speech, they still have comments and questions, which is where I get irritated.
My parents wanted their daughter to be a part of THEIR culture and THEIR traditions, which is what most parents hope for. People try to tell me I'm "not Asian enough," or that "I should do more Asian stuff," and even question "why I know Polish stuff." These questions are not even because they are curious about me, they are just questions that these people need answers to in order for them to understand the situation. They try to shame me for my outside not matching my inside.
When I was younger, these questions would get in my head. I would consider the idea that they were right. That I should try and know more Korean things, try to "be more Asian." I started to feel like I was doing something wrong or that I was breaking some social rule. But then I would try and "be more Asian," only to be told I was a "typical Asian" or that I only like those things "because I'm Asian."
As I've grown up, I've come to the conclusion that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I learned that I can't please everyone and that I shouldn't have to. If I like who I am, then who cares what others think?
That being said, I just have one thing to say to those people: Mind your own damn business.
In my eyes, I am the perfect amount of Korean and Polish. Stop trying to tell me who I should be or what I should know. Stop telling me what I should and shouldn't like.
Most importantly, stop trying to figure out which box I belong in.
I am perfectly okay with not fitting in a certain category. Being adopted has made me more open-minded and taught me to never believe in stereotypes. I love that my life is this big melting pot of cultures. If I like something, it's because I like it, not because it's common among my race and vise versa. Being Korean AND being Polish are big parts of who I am. If that doesn't make sense to people, that's not my problem. I am who I am, and I love who I am.