I get called crazy on a daily basis, mostly by people who have never actually interacted with me. Here’s a little list I put together of the things I heard this week from people I’ve never actually met:
“Don’t f*** with her, she’s insane.”
“She’s hot, but she’s crazy. She’s not worth it.”
“She’s crazy. Don’t listen to anything she says.”
“Why are you hanging out with her? She’s a crazy fucking bitch”
“Haven’t you heard she was crazy? Did you not hear the stories?”
Sure, I may be far “crazier” than the usual. I would personally like to hear the stories as well. As far as I can tell, they’re a lot more interesting than anything I’ve actually done; at least I’m more exciting than I know. Part of me loves this — I don’t have to interact with people, I can essentially voice any opinion I like, and I never have to worry about how people see me.
But the issue is that I haven't met a single girl who wasn't at some point dismissed as "crazy."
“Crazy” is a dismissive term. It’s used arbitrarily to describe anything from being loud and opinionated to burning down a full neighborhood of houses. Despite your intent, calling someone “crazy” serves to put them down and delegitimize them.
First off, the word “crazy” often gets used as a blanket term to describe someone you dislike. Yet, it doesn’t provide a specific reason for that dislike, nor does it hold much meaning. There are plenty of reasons to dislike someone, and plenty of words in the English language you can use to express that dislike. By all means, go for those.
The word sticks. Once a person is known as “crazy,” they are no longer taken seriously; they are essentially looked upon as less human, with less valid opinions, and unworthy of attention. People advise you to “stay away from the crazy,” to not “f*** with crazy girls.” This, in turn, poses a dangerous implication for those suffering from mental health problems. It implies that they are less worthy, less human, and should be ostracized. Also worth noting: it is far harder for those with anxiety disorders, ADHD, etc. to check themselves enough to not appear “crazy.”
Most often, the word “crazy” gets used to silence women. The idea of a “crazy ex-girlfriend” is constantly thrown around by men to justify their own actions. For them, women are hysterical and overly sensitive. If a woman gets upset, it is the fault of her own irrationality. Women are constantly advised to “play it cool,” “talk less,” and “watch their actions.” Women consistently have to check themselves and everything they do so that they stay in an ideal, docile mold. Anything outside the ideal female paradigm is “crazy” and worthy of condemnation, not sympathy. After all, “crazy” is the absolute worst thing a woman can be.
We refer to the most powerful women in politics, media, science as "crazy." We undermine their legitimacy in their fields solely based on gender. This aggression also comes from other women. Feminism isn't about blindly supporting women because of their gender. It is about cultural equality for both sexes. It is about treating fellow human beings without subconscious biases.
Next time you want to describe someone as “crazy,” try grabbing a dictionary and learning a couple new words. Is it a “I want to put you down” or “I think she’s too opinionated” or “She parties too much” or "She's super anxious"? Something else? I don’t know, and I’m not fully convinced that you know either.