To The Best Friend I Met Completely By Accident

To The Best Friend I Met Completely By Accident

For the boy I didn't mean to meet, but am very happy I did.

I met Hunter Johnson when he joined the Eastern Odyssey team, and we didn't really talk all that much. But then, suddenly, I was working in a thoroughly understaffed ice cream shop, and he was looking for a paycheck.

I never really knew how amazing my life would become once I gave that afro-headed weirdo his application to Baskin Robbins, but oh boy did it get crazy.

So, Hunter, this is your article. Now shut up and stop asking me for it. (But like, please don't shut up because you're an idiot and I love you). So where to even begin...this is a boy of many wonders.

Hunter, my life has never been more filled with memes and self-depreciating humor than this past year. And that's all your fault. But ya know, it's been pretty lit.

So thank you for the many horrible shifts at Baskins, with our horrible screech singing and literal dying. Anda thank you for being completely hopeless without me there. (Side note: Please stop flooding sinks because I go to the bathroom). I never had a single dull shift when you were around because dull can't exist with such an incredible person in the room.

You're the only person I have a Snapchat streak with, and you understand the need to be extra at literally everything you do. There's no one else I'd rather spend $85 on food with, and then eat like half of it in one shift because we're #shameless bro.

You're there to listen to me bitch about everyone, and I'm there when you're on the verge of dropping out for the eight millionth time that day.

Even though you're from the armpit state (Shout out to Ohio), I like you anyways. Or at least I like you sometimes. Thank you for joining the Odyssey, so I have someone to procrastinate with on articles, and someone to coauthor stories with when it's the holiday season and we cannot come up with pieces on our own.

You've been a part of my life for such a short amount of time, and I can't fathom what I would do without your sarcastic Snapchats anymore. So thank you for being my best friend, and I am really going to miss you when you leave me for the summer to return to Sadsville (aka anywhere I am not).

But just know the second you get back in Michigan, I will have a page full of Ohio-based jokes and a bottle of something fun for you! And ya' know, some fun work-related stories about creepy men hitting on me or something, to remind you why we hate everyone.

All I ask in return is a job at whatever hotel you wind up owning because let's face it, you will never really enjoy any job as much as you enjoyed working with me!

With Love,

Your Favorite Coworker

P.S. Please continue to not screenshot the horrible selfies I send you for the sake of saving the streak. Thank you.

Cover Image Credit: Hannah Jernigan

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right

In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" ""

31. "Sleep? I don't know about's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"

35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?

39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"

I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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Hey Kendrick Lamar: Who Can Say the N-Word, And Who Can't?

Assessing backlash following Kendrick Lamar asking a white fan to refrain from using the N-word

Pulitzer Prize-winning rapper Kendrick Lamar has recently received a lot of backlash for reprimanding a fan for using the 'N-word' while reciting his lyrics at the Hangout Music Fest.

Following a fan performance by a concert goer named Rohan, Kendrick asked a white fan named Delaney to rap to his 2012 hit song “m.A.A.d city.” Unlike Rohan, Delaney omitted the first N-word then failed to self-censor when reciting the lyrics. After she said it more than once, Lamar, cut her off and respectfully addressed the issue and allowed her to stay on stage despite disapproval from the crowd.

Videos have since circulated and have sparked the ongoing debate surrounding the use of the N-word in lyrics and in everyday speech. The debate is outdated and is only prominent due to a sense of entitlement that many non-blacks feel to popular culture. Because of the growing presence of hip-hop and rap in pop culture, words that are specific to the two genres have been adopted by the dominant culture, but the N-word is not one that can. Those who believe otherwise fail to acknowledge the purpose and origin of hip-hop.

Twitter user @GeorgiaPhoenix openly opposes the use of the N-word by any race if it excludes white individuals. Two tweets from the account are quoted below:

“Perhaps rappers should attempt to excluding those words if you don’t want people to say them. Why would anyone make a song with word they wanted specific groups to exclude when celebrating their art? It is the dumbest approach that I have ever heard. It is completely unnecessary.”
“We can’t produce art w/ a nude subject & then ask the viewer to pretend that he or she doesn’t see the left breast. Either cover the subject up w/ clothes or be willing to accept the residual affects (sp). Rap is “our art” loved across the globe. It’s coonery to include such language.”

When the user referred to hip-hop as “our art,” he was claiming it as an American art form that is the property of all those included in American society. What this user and many others fail to realize is that hip-hop originated in direct opposition to White America.

Created by inner-city African Americans, rap was a musical outlet and safe space for Black youth that reflected the social, economic and political realities of their lives. It is a genre of resistance that arose from oppression and pain.

Because of its role as a safe space in the Black community, rappers feel comfortable using the N-word when talking about their life experiences. This does not grant non-black listeners a pass to use the word as well. Non-black listeners are guests to the art form and should respect that the space is specially carved out for black self-expression when celebrating such works.

The N-word that ends in “-a” is a word that has been repossessed and repurposed to mean something entirely new from the harmful slur it once was. It is used by Black people in a multitude of contexts but only in Black spaces. Because of rap’s origin, it is a medium defined by its connection to blackness and is therefore a Black space. Guest listeners should keep that in mind when enjoying the music and acknowledge their role as a “guest” by not asserting their opinions on how a community outside of their own interacts with their oppression. Meaning: if certain communities choose to use a derogatory word ironically among themselves, that doesn’t give other people outside that community license to do so.

White privilege has allowed white people to exist in a society whose laws and culture communicate to them that “everything belongs to you.” This has led some white people to feel as though they have a right to do anything, including use a word they have been repeatedly told is inappropriate for them to use.

The fact that this is a conversation that needs to be had is evidence that the feelings and desires of Black subjects are muted when their culture is being commercialized. Artists and scholars have all explained why the word should not be used by people outside of the Black community but are repeatedly silenced.

Rohan understood everything mentioned in this article and had an amazing experience at the Kendrick Lamar concert as he rapped alongside the Pulitzer Prize-winning artist. Delaney did not and should not be pitied for asserting her right to a derogatory term that she has no right saying.

Cover Image Credit: Batiste Safont

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