Despite living in metro-Atlanta for over 10 years, I have always considered Toronto, my birthplace, to be my true home.
Moving generally doesn't seem like an easy transition in the stories you hear or movies you watch. But moving at only four-years-old and with little understanding of the choice that was made for me, I really didn't struggle too much with the change. I was young, carefree and open to anything slightly spontaneous!
We moved in June, and school started that fall. That's when I began to truly feel the change. Elementary school was rough for me, not academic-wise but the social aspect. It was difficult to make new friends, not because I was in a different environment or because people were unfriendly but simply because of my attitude toward meeting people. While everyone was making friends, I sat in the corner and didn't even make an effort to talk to my classmates. I so desperately wanted to be back in Toronto with my friends and family, going out for family gatherings and playing with my cousins. However, as time progressed, I grew more distant from my relatives and the few pre-school friends I had made back in Toronto.
Living in America, I always felt the need to live up to some Canadian stereotype for the longest time. I tried so hard to maintain my roots and display my Canadian pride. I spelled certain words the 'Canadian way,' like favourite, colour, centre, etc. I celebrated the First of July rather than the Fourth of July. When I was playing tag in second grade, I was laughed at for pronouncing the word 'tag' differently, but I didn't care.
In all honesty, I have very few memories of my four years living in Canada. But almost every summer, I go back to Canada to visit my relatives, and being back home makes me so proud of the city I'm from.
Recently, almost 10 years later, I have finally accepted my Americanism. I always struggled to accept the simple fact that I always found difficult: I am both Canadian and American. In reality, my home — where I was raised — is in America. So maybe I'm actually a little more American than I am Canadian.