Adjusting to a new member of the family can be a challenging task for some people. I thought it was going to hard for me, but it turned out to be rather easy. My father passed away October 29, 2015. It was one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life. I had never experienced a loss of that magnitude, so moving on was quite difficult for me.

Here I am almost 2 years later, and my mother has a boyfriend. What?! I never thought it would happen. Not saying that my mother is unlikeable or anything like that; I just couldn’t imagine her with anyone else other than my father. He was the only man that I knew of being my mother’s significant other.

When she finally told me that she had a boyfriend I was happy for her but a little taken aback, my thoughts trailed off into, how could she do that? It’s only been 2 years there hasn’t been enough time for her to grieve. And then the protective part of me kicked in. Is he going to take care of my mom? Make her happy? I mean she just had the biggest trauma life could ever give someone. I didn’t want her to get hurt again so soon.

Of course, all of this ran through my mind several times before I met him. I told my mother that I was going to grill him to find out his intentions. I wanted to make sure that he was serious and not playing games with my mother’s heart.

Once I met my mother’s boyfriend I was a little more relaxed. He didn’t seem like a bad guy and he was respectful. My mom really liked him, and my kiddo loved him. So, how was I supposed to react? I decided not to grill him and just observe his actions with my mother and son. Turns out that he wasn’t the guy that I thought he was going to be.

He was very respectful to my mother and great with my son. Getting to know him wasn’t hard because we had some similar interests. By the time our first meeting was over I jokingly told my mother that I did not approve. “I don’t approve, Mom. He’s too much like us.” He and I got along great and he’s rather cool to be a gentleman around my mother’s age.

We joke and laugh all the time. The most important thing is that my mom is happy with him. It’s different having a father figure around again. Before it was just me and my mom. Two girls out to conquer the world together.

Having the new member added to the family is going to take some getting used to. I keep comparing him to my father. Just little things, like the way he talks and the foods he prefers over others. I don’t think that will change though. My father was around for 25 years of my life so it’s all I know.

My mother doesn’t know if the two of them will end up married or where the next steps will take them but I do know that seeing her happy makes me happy and that matters more to me than anything. My comfort level around her new beau has granted him the status of step-dad. I know it isn’t legit yet but it doesn’t matter. I hope he sticks around for a long time.

So before you judge the new person in the family, whether it be a step-parent, sister or brother-in-law, etc.; just get to know them. Instead of grilling them with a million questions that you have no idea whether or not you’ll like the answer to; let them show you who they are.

You might be pleasantly surprised like I was.