We all have subjects we like, the ones we do well in without much effort or the work put in doesn't feel like a burden or the burden itself is joyful. But on the flip side, we all have a subject that no matter how much we study, practice, watch videos on, we never seem to get better or keep up. For me, the latter has been killing my spirit.
I spend tens of hours a week trying to improve my skills in physics and yet I find I never improve and I continue to struggle to do well. It has gotten to the point where I feel that I'm not smart enough to understand physics and I never will be. I have never put this much energy into any subject before and to find that my results are not very good does nothing good for one's self-esteem. And with finals week coming up soon, I know I have to put in even more hours in order to get even a mediocre score.
All of this has caused a lot of self-doubt in my life, including affecting my views on my long term goals. Take for instance, when I was on another of my blocks while writing a physics lab, I found myself subconsciously whispering to myself, "I guess I can't be a doctor."
You might be wondering where physics lab and med school connect. Well, physics is a topic on the MCAT and in order to get into med school and eventually become a doctor, one has to do well on the MCAT and thus know at least some physics. And thus, whenever I don't do well in physics, I find myself losing touch with my "big picture." 10 years from now, I hope all this pain will be worth it and won't deter me from my goals. Keeping the hope alive is really hard and if I step back for a second, It's just one class, in the long run, it shouldn't be a life altering thing. Don't let the small things make you lose sight of your dreams.