Anyone who had been in a relationship, or has had their friends go through relationships, knows that being in one is not exactly a walk in the park. There are two vastly different personalities colliding together because at some points, your edges fit perfectly. That doesn't mean you have to be the same person or agree with everything the other says, though. Relationships are about hard work, love, and trust. It isn't always easy navigating feelings and expressing your emotions to your partner. But, if you know your ABC's, then you'll be able to adapt the Relationship ABC's to your life as well.
A. Accountability
Ensure your partner can count on you no matter what, and vise versa.
B. Bonding
Forming a bond/attachment to someone is crucial to make any relationship last. If the spark isn't their, the relationship will fizzle
C. Communication
This is something I struggle with, especially when it's something I know my boyfriend won't agree with. But it's better to tell them the truth right away, than to let it fester and turn into a huge fight.
D. Dates
No matter how long you've been in a relationship, a date night should always be planned, especially if you are both on the go at all times and have opposite schedules. Making the time to sit down, talk, express your feelings or catch up will do wonders for the relationship.
E. Engage
No, not engagement, engage. Engage in things they are interested in. Engage with their family. Engage in every sense of the word. This not only shows effort, but that you care about their life and the things that are important to them as well.
F. Fight
Every healthy relationship has its arguments. Just because you have a fight doesn't mean you're not compatible or that you're headed for Splitsville. Sometimes, you need to get the built up tension off your chests in order to move forward. But don't let the fight fester. Resolve it and move forward.
G. Girl's/Guy's Night
Being in a relationship is a wonderful, magical thing. Where all you want to do is be around each other 24/7 and nobody else. There just doesn't seem like there would ever be enough time spent with them. However, you also do need some space to keep your individuality and sanity so you don't end up killing the other for breathing too loudly.
H. Heart-to-Heart's
Sometimes, in order to deepen the relationship or resolve an issue, a meaningful conversation must be had. Set some time aside to discuss things that are bothering you, or talk about your pasts, or whatever it is that you know deep down you need to get off your chest. You'd be surprised how much closer you two become.
I. Imagine
Imagine a future with your partner, what that looks like, and how you you want to get there. Collaborate and start working towards making that dream a reality.
J. Jokes
The best relationships are the ones where you can be your true, goofy self with. Let the lame dad jokes run rampant and always remember not to take things so seriously.
K. Kiss often
Relationships are called relationships simply because they require physical contact. Sometimes all you need is a quick kiss on the lips, cheek, forehead, etc., to know everything is going to be okay.
L. Love unconditionally
When you're at that place in a relationship where you know you've fallen for them harder than you have for anyone else, you know you've fallen in love. But love isn't roses and fancy dinners and snuggling on the couch. It's dealing with their bad days, loving them when they're cranky, offering extra support when needed and still looking at them like they're the greatest thing to happen to you.
M. (Realize) Money isn't everything
It can be easy to be swept up in other's opinion's of how your relationship should look or how much your S.O. makes. As long as they're making a constant effort to better themselves and motivate you as well, don't let the outside voices taint your relationship.
N. Negotiate
Relationships are give and take. Sometimes you get what you want, sometimes you don't, but why not try to find the happy medium with a little negotiation?
O. Offer more than just your time
You're not in a relationship because you have nothing else to do. You're a busy person. But maybe get a little less sleep, make a little more time, and really show how seriously you take this relationship. Yeah, you'll have bags under your eyes, but the emotional relationship you will create will be worth it.
P. Protect
Protect your relationship, and the person you're in a relationship with. Be their anchor, their protector, their defender. Protect what you've grown and cherish it.
Q. Quit your bad habits
I do stuff that irritates my boyfriend to his core, and he does things that make my head feel like they're going to explode, but if we don't express that, the situation doesn't get better. So, when your partner tells you that something you do bothers them, don't get mad. Instead practice letter U, and change the habit that's causing unrest in the relationship.
R. Remember more
Jot notes down, set reminders in your phone if you have to, but remember all the little or big things they tell you. Birthdays, anniversaries, a big interview coming up. Remember it and be supportive.
S. Stay when things get tough
Most people tend to bail when things get a little less than fairytale, and that's some utter bullshit. If you really love and care for your partner, you'll stay with them during the good and the bad, because you know they would do the same for you.
T. Trust
This was a huge one for me. I'm not the most trusting person in the world, and it took a lot for me to trust my S.O. But once we opened up to each other and built a relationship founded on trust, it was easy to let my past go.
U. Understand more
It's hard to understand where someone is coming from, especially when you both have different thought processes. Before getting angry, try to hear their perspective and be a little more understanding.
V. Vulnerability
There's nothing wrong with being vulnerable, or showing your vulnerable side to your partner. Let your guard down and see where it takes you.
W. Worry less
For me, being in a relationship means mothering them to death. Which also means worrying about them to death. Chances are, if they've made it this far in life, they can go a day without you constantly two steps behind ready to fight off evil at the next turn. Take a deep breath, and let the rest come easy.
X. (E)xes
Exes are exes for a reason. They may have had a past, but you are their future. As long as you both are committed, nothing can deter the other from being with you.
Y. (Say) Yes
I have this very bad problem where no matter what my boyfriend suggests, my immediate answer is no. Even if the idea isn't half bad, I still feel that N word at the tip of my tongue. Say yes more to the things they want to do with you. It may be bad, it may be good, but you'll never know unless you say "yes."
Z. Zzz's
At the end of a hard day, cuddle up to your S.O. and sleep it off. A lot of the times we're more argumentative because we're on the brink of insanity and just need to sleep off our mood. It helps to do so while sleeping next to the person you love the most.
