I come in waves, of emotions, of surprises.

Some may not be predicable, while others can be.

I will push you when I'm mad, I will cry out loud when I'm sad.

But I can never abandon you.

I lock myself in when I don't have anything to say.

Nothing can make me speak, not even your smiles, hugs, or kisses against my tender cheek.

The past reminds me of those bitter moments.

Before people eventually abandon me.

I'm sorry, but nothing can ever fulfill me.

There's this hole that I discover about myself from time to time.

This hole that I can never show others, for people will then realize that I'm not worth it.

My past will just repeat itself: laughing, gazes looking me up and down, paired silhouettes in a crowd without me.

I want the sky to hug me, I want the clouds to support me, I want the sea to surround me.

I want love, approval, support, and kindness.

But every time, I grasp at it, those things always take a step away.

As if my hand and my heart are just cruel, cruel objects desiring for something they can never receive.

Abandon me, before you lose yourself.

Abandon me, before you realize you love someone else.

Abandon me, before you recognize who I really am.

Just abandon me, before it's too late.

My smiles, my tears, all my turmoil from within

Will eventually swallow you up.

The decision's yours.

Will you allow yourself to be swallowed or will you escape the reality of what's really inside of me?

The one that you thought was for you was nothing but a figment.

Something you made up, for the reality is far far worse.

Abandon me,

Because I will never abandon you.