Do I have A Toxic Friend
Start writing a post
Politics

4 Warning Signs You've Got A Toxic Best Friend

You're so much better than them; dump them, ASAP!

1027
4 Warning Signs You've Got A Toxic Best Friend

Everyone's got someone in their life who puts them down so much that they end up having to turn to someone else to rant about it or bottle it up inside. It always seems like we could easily pinpoint someone who is toxic, right? Yeah, that's not the case. Often times, those people can be our lifeline in some cases, our mood changes, and support.

But there's a saying: there's always that one best friend who makes your day, and one that ruins it.

I had one who ruined my day every day for the past two years by putting me down, comparing me, and being rude to me so I can relate and here's what I've got to say:

How do you know that the person who is supposed to cherish you, bring an ambiance of happiness, and guide you through tough times is not a good person?

1. They're greedy for your attention but don't believe in giving any of theirs.

Giphy

Now, this seems like it may be easy to identify, but it's not. Simple signs will be easier to pick up on. For example, your toxic friend might talk about all their problems with their boyfriend with you. They'll call you late at night, they'll send you a million texts, but the minute you have guy problems, it's a "yikes" or a "rip".

If they can't give you a minute out of their day, drop them! If you feel worse after they've attempted at consoling you because of something they sad and NOT the circumstance, drop them! If they shut you down in any way when you try to take about your problems, drop them!

2. They treat you as their competition rather than their friend.

Giphy

You are you. You have your own identity and your own personality. You've got your own livelihood--that's how everyone is. Even your toxic friend has their own persona. But when their persona becomes clingy and rude and suddenly they randomly start telling you things like, "I'm doing this, are you?" or they slip in things like "My boyfriend and I did this." It sucks because you care how their life is going, but you don't need the sass or the negative energy.

This also includes your toxic friend not believing you. When you try so hard to achieve something, they'll tell you something like "I'm not sure if you'll get it" or "We'll see." Your BFF is supposed to hype you up! "Girl, you got this!" "Girl, you can do this!" "Girl, I believe in you!" If you don't get any of those even when whatever you're trying to obtain is way far out of reach, drop them because they don't care and they secretly hope you don't get what you want, especially if it makes you stick out more than them.

Worse of all is when you finally achieve something, like a college acceptance or a scholarship or a date with your crush, etc, and they take your happiness and put it in their satanic blender and rip it all apart. It hurts because of the one person--the ONE PERSON--who you count on, who is supposed to make you feel like you're on top of the world tears you down and all you can describe it as is a stabbing in your heart because others will lift you and take you to the moon with their love and support, but why doesn't your friend? Oh, right--that's cause they're toxic. You're welcome. Moving on.

3. They don't want you to be friends with people that (s)he doesn't like.

It's okay if you take a while to realize this person is toxic, but don't take too long. You've got to realize other people have "been there" and "done that" with your toxic friend. They've gone the smart route. They've backed out and don't like your toxic friend. They don't mess with her/him anymore. They're in the clear. But if you're friends with them, it's suddenly a problem? No. It shouldn't be. I'm all up for the you-hurt-my-best-friend-you-suck vibe and support. However, just cause I don't have beef with someone who's nice to me, I ain't going to stop talking to them just because they don't like you. That's on you--not me.

4. They discredit you despite how much you credit them.

Giphy

They'll take over your credit and won't look back. When it's time to uplift you or give you credit, they'll turn their head the other way and you know what you'll say? It's fine, they probably forgot or we're joking--whatever. But it's not okay! Your work is something you've put your time, sweat, and energy into. It's your own and if they can't even honor the simplest facts and smallest truths that don't belong to them when they're out there receiving recognition, they're toxic. This sign is easier to realize cause it will hurt the most. It's the one you'll bottle up the most and try to be passive about.

I'll give you all a real example. During college admission time, I was accepted into an amazing, top-tier university early. My toxic best friend said: "Congrats! Good luck! That school is hell, dude. It's such an unsafe area...there's so many homeless people there, safety would be my number one priority when choosing a school like that." After a miserable congrats, I got a bunch of harsh suggestions and passive remarks. Compared to that, I had friends who came up to me and said positive remarks like "Wow, you deserve it" and "You're gonna go far! I'm so proud of you!" There's the difference, pals, between someone who is jealous of you and wants to bring you down because you're doing better than them versus people, who even if you haven't really gotten to know them, wish you well in life and hope to see you succeed-- a quality your toxic best friend should have but doesn't, because they're toxic.

Remember: Their ego causes them to put you down for their benefit, so don't help boost their ego. Take their madness with a grain of salt.

OK, so how do you get rid of a toxic best friend?

Well, do you have any other friends? Yeah, you do, because people actually like you, unlike your toxic friend.

Stop going out of your way to talk to them, to greet them, to invite them, to text them, to be around them-- let them come to you. That sounds crazy, but distance is the best way to start and allowing yourself to maintain your own self-respect. Then, when they realize you're sick of their crap, you can initiate phase two which is deleting them off of your social media. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter--all gone, baby! Here's the thing, you won't see what they're doing, you won't think about it; in sum, you won't know, so you won't care. And, that, my friends, is the best feeling in the world, when you realize you don't give a damn.

Remember: you deserve the best so give yourself the best. You only live once and you don't deserve to spend your life being miserable. You're not a cat with 9 lives who's got a little less than eternity to learn a lesson. You've got a short time, so be happy and make your life happy! And if you ever see them again in the future,--first of all, you couldn't care less--like an amazing person once told me, "Be civil, not nice."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

In an already unprecedented political landscape, things aren't looking so bright for mail-in voters heading into November's election. In 46 states and Washington D.C., post offices received a warning that mail-in ballots may not be counted on time to count on election day, according to a report by the Washington Post.

Keep Reading... Show less
FOX

"New Girl" is one of the best sitcoms of all time. Honestly, it is so much fun to watch, so much fun to relate to, just all around a great show.

Not only is a great show, it has so many different great settings, obviously including the loft. If you live by Nick Miller quotes and desperately tried to learn how to play "True American," you need to buy these things because you are a true "New Girl" fan.

Keep Reading... Show less

You know those items you've been pinning to your Home board on Pinterest for [insert amount of time]? Well, it's officially the moment to turn that wishlist into a married life reality, and it's going to be SO fun.

But, before you get to shopping and adding things to your upgraded bridal wishlist (sorry, Pinterest, it was lovely while it lasted), you'll first want to decide where you want to open your registry (or registries, if you want options). Here are 17 of the best websites and stores to consider saying "I do" to for your wedding registry, to have and to hold for as long as people are buying you wedding gifts.

Keep Reading... Show less

If you've ever been in the dating game, or currently are, chances are you've had a date gone wrong. These are often times super embarrassing, but they are always funny to look back on.

Keep Reading... Show less

I just recently got engaged and planning a wedding during a pandemic is actually kind of a nightmare.

A lot of venues are taken for 2021 because of corona brides and grooms who have had to reschedule their weddings and the same goes for other vendors and literally everything else.

Keep Reading... Show less

While promoting her most recent movie, "Work It," Sabrina Carpenter has divulged some of her favorite beauty products to interviewers.

Keep Reading... Show less

When I say we can't stop thinking about the relationship advice Miley Cyrus dropped on "Call Her Daddy" today, I mean it literally.

Her truth bombs hit me (and most who listened) like a wrecking ball and coupled with the release of her new song "Midnight Sky," we're going to need some time to process the greatness. In case you haven't listened yet (what are you waiting for?), here are 10 relationship tips Miley shared that we should all live by for the rest of time.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color: Rec Room's Dre Taylor On What Blackness Can Look Like And Not Working For Free

"It mattered to me that when we were depicting racial diversity for Rec Room, we showed the broad spectrum of what Blackness can look like."

Rec Room

The world of sustainable fashion is inundated with marketing gimmicks, false advertising, and large corporations cutting corners — Rec Room is the pure antithesis of that.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 At-Home Therapy Tips You Need, No Matter What Your Therapy Routine Is

Whether you're in a Zoom session or live-chatting, make sure your home therapy space is good to go.

No matter what stigmas you held about therapy before this year, I'm sure 2020 has affirmed that we could ALL use a nice long therapy session. Between wildfires that took over an entire continent, a global health crisis, and what's sure to be one giant circus of an election in the United States, we need help and we need it now.

The fact of the matter is, therapy has been a helpful, valid resource long before the world decided to become one giant dumpster fire. Having a safe space to discuss what's going on in your life, worries you have, and struggles you're facing has become a very normal thing for individuals' mental health.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dunkin' just announced that they'll be releasing their fall menu earlier than ever — set to debut on August 19 — and that it'll include new menu options this season, including a new signature pumpkin spice latte. Let me just say, Starbucks has some fall-menu competition now.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments