Thank You to My Ex

A Letter To My Ex

Hey, Ex. Long time no talk. I know we ended things pretty badly - fighting, bashing, the whole nine yards. But, I've grown and I'm sure you have to, so it's time we discuss things.

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We dated for most of our high school career, and it was okay. Of course you have the drama of high school, the means girls, the parties. But, we made it work, for awhile. We grew apart and that's okay, it happens. But, that's for the end of this letter. Let's talk about the relationship first.

When we got together, I was definitely not in a good place. I had just gotten over an eating disorder, had a bad outlook on relationships, and that was when my depression took a major toll on me. That's a lot for any one person to handle, and I'm sorry it was all put on you. No 16-year-old boy should have to deal with a 16-year-old girl who hates everything about herself and expects the absolute worst.

But, that doesn't mean it's okay to bring my levels down even more. I get it, nobody is perfect, but come on! Making me feel crazy for you flirting with every girl you see? Not wanting to follow your every command? You cannot get mad at me for that, but you did. You made me feel like all I was good for was to follow orders given to me by my boyfriend. You made me lose myself. But, that's not what this letter is about. This is me thanking you.

Thank you. Because you made me feel so low, you helped me to appreciate when someone does treat me the way I deserve. You helped me realize to not waste my time on someone who won't accept me for how I am - anxiety flaws and all. You helped me to see that nobody is perfect, that everyone has demons, and it's okay (that I realized after we broke up). Thank you so much for breaking up with me and pretty much deleting me from your life. Because you so easily dropped me, I was able to drop you and not really look back.

I know, we had our issues when we broke up. You started dating someone new, someone who wanted to fight me. And, I rubbed it in your face when a new guy would hit me up.

We were petty towards one another and I really don't know if we will ever talk again, but I had to say this. I had to thank you, because for almost two years, you were my world. You made me happy at times, and I cannot take that away.

So, thank you. I hope you find someone who makes you as happy as my current boyfriend makes me. I want you to find the love that I have found. Thank you for your help shaping me.

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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In Real Life, 'Plus Size' Means A Size 16 And Up, Not Just Women Who Are Size 8's With Big Breasts

The media needs to understand this, and give recognition to actual plus-size women.

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Recently, a British reality dating TV show called "Love Island" introduced that a plus-sized model would be in the season five lineup of contestants. This decision was made after the show was called out for not having enough diversity in its contestants. However, the internet was quick to point out that this "plus-size model" is not an accurate representation of the plus-size community.


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Anna Vakili, plus-size model and "Love Island "Season 5 Contestant Yahoo UK News

It is so frustrating that the media picks and chooses women that are the "ideal" version of plus sized. In the fashion world, plus-size starts at size 8. EIGHT. In real life, plus-size women are women who are size 16 and up. Plunkett Research, a marketing research company, estimated in 2018 that 68% of women in America wear a size 16 to 18. This is a vast difference to what we are being told by the media. Just because a woman is curvy and has big breasts, does NOT mean that they are plus size. Marketing teams for television shows, magazines, and other forms of media need to realize that the industry's idea of plus size is not proportionate to reality.

I am all for inclusion, but I also recognize that in order for inclusion to actually happen, it needs to be accurate.

"Love Island" is not the only culprit of being unrealistic in woman's sizes, and I don't fully blame them for this choice. I think this is a perfect example of the unrealistic expectations that our society puts on women. When the media tells the world that expectations are vastly different from reality, it causes women to internalize that message and compare themselves to these unrealistic standards.

By bringing the truth to the public, it allows women to know that they should not compare themselves and feel bad about themselves. Everyone is beautiful. Picking and choosing the "ideal" woman or the "ideal" plus-size woman is completely deceitful. We as a society need to do better.

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