A New Kind of Fullness
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A New Kind of Fullness

Sometimes you find a different kind of fullness in life...

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A New Kind of Fullness

Eating healthy felt so hard to do until now. I still remember the late night snacking late at night in my dorm. I would binge large amounts of chips, candy, chocolate, all the junk food that was available. Little did I know that time that the overeating had to do with a sense of emptiness or insecurity deep inside me. Although I had a social circle and had people who I hung out with, and wasn't a victim of bullying, I always harbored a mind of emptiness and loneliness that I felt I needed to fill up. This emptiness would creep up on me late night and try to attack my soul and catch me off guard, as if it was trying to take a weird selfie.

Reminiscing about my old days at my dorm before quarantine happened, now I feel as if a lot has changed since then. For some reason, I don't feel the need to overeat to satisfy any kind of emptiness. I feel full already. I can tell myself and I have come a very long way to get here but I can assure that I don't feel the same way about insecurity as I have back then. I think the difference lies in the fact that I saw insecurity as a looming, dominant figure that I felt like I had to obey, back when I was living at my dorm. I would try to match up to its expectations and do whatever it wanted me to do. I never knew what it felt like to not be under the control of insecurity.

However, now that dominant insecurity figure seemed to have drifted off to somewhere else or have gotten tired of me already. I don't feel like I have to be obliged to do anything for the sake of insecurity now. I feel like I was set free by a certain point in time recently where I felt that I didn't have to feel insecure about myself. I knew this the day I woke up and felt beautiful and had a full feeling for once. I didn't feel as if I had to have another bite of an M&M sandwich or have to compare myself and my social media to what others posted and what they were doing at the moment. I felt enough. It's funny how we live in a world where we often face insecurity that comes from constant comparing and evaluation of ourselves versus other people. I needed to fill this emptiness I felt inside my mind and my soul as a young adult in this generation. I was afraid of standing out from the others. I just wanted to fit in with the norm and make sure I became like them. Now, don't get me wrong, it's important to follow the trend and flow of this generation but there comes a point where there starts to be some negative attributes coming to the spot, such as comparison, insecurity.

I want to remind anyone who reads this that they are beautiful, inspirational, courageous, and brave for being themselves. It is hard to be oneself in a world like this today, where we are often constantly put down and criticized for who we are. Like how the seasons change and years flow by, hopefully one day this status quo of being like everyone else will cease to an end. During times where it's hard to find ourselves or know we really are, it's vital to embrace our individual talents and achievements. There is only one of us each in this world and it's about time we prove that we matter and that we are special.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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