While I am writing this, I am currently on a ski trip with my family in Colorado, and my body feels like it is falling apart. "Why?" you may ask. Because I just spent the day looking like a baby giraffe that's been trying to walk for the first time, aka learning how to ski. Honestly, I am just surprised I survived a full day of ski school without dropping out. Skiing was literally the most difficult thing I have ever tried to learn. Don't get me wrong, skiing is a ton of fun once you get the hang of it, so I have heard. But while I was learning how to do something completely out of the norm for me (since I am a girl from Louisiana who has seen snow a whopping two times) I had a lot of thoughts going through my head during this experience, mainly questions.
So, if you're a Southerner, and you have never tried skiing, here are some thoughts you may experience for when you do:
1. This skiing thing doesn't look too hard! I will definitely have it down in no time
Sorry to break it to you, but that's going to be a hard no.
2. Walking in your ski gear is a lot harder than you pictured it
^ How you and your ski school pals look waddling around in the 80 layers of clothes you're all wearing
3. Wait what is going on? And Could I die?
^ Me when the ski instructor said "OK, Madison, show us what you got?"
Ummm, I have literally nothing. Please don't expect much. Or anything at all.
4. What is "wedging" and why do I suck at it?
Turns out wedging is the important little maneuver that helps you slow down/stop. So... let's just say I was going pretty fast most of the time. unintentionally.
5. Why are all these kids so much better than me?
Did that pack of six-year-olds really just pass me up on the bunny slopes?
6. There's no way in hell I'm getting off this ski lift
Wait, so you want me to ride this ski lift to the top of a mountain and then jump off?? Sorry, I think I rather die a different way, but thanks for the idea.
7. Oh, I think I'm kind of getting the hang of it!!!
Sooooo, I'm basically ready for the winter Olympics, right? Someone sign me up.
8. Oh, false alarm, I still suck
But that's OK because no one's an Olympic athlete after a few hours, plus it's almost lunchtime, so that's a plus!
9. I may not be the best, but at least I didn't die!
I'll be skiing on the black slopes next year. Or maybe just not the bunny slopes.