It's been 5 days.
It's been 5 days since at least 59 people lost their lives at the Route 91 Harvest Festival in Las Vegas, Nevada.
It's been 5 days since Stephen Paddock open-fired on a crowd of people for almost 11 minutes before taking the gun to himself.
It's been 5 days since investigators found nearly 23 guns in his hotel rooms, several being modified illegally to shoot automatically.
It's been 5 days, and I am still absolutely heartbroken over this incident.
Shootings have been prevalent in our country since the 1990s and nowadays, many of us live in fear that one day we will fall victim to one. It's a special kind of fear as well-- it's a fear that exists in every American and it not just every once in a while when these kinds of things happen, but a fear that remains in the back of my head every time I leave my home to go do something.
This fear has been tragically realized by the almost 22,000 people who stood in the crowd that was mercilessly shot at over and over again.
This one shooting has kept me absolutely shook. I am in shock, not just because of the people I knew who were there, but I feel as if this level of evil has taken a step beyond just a shooter with a gun, but is now a man committing a massacre by firing bullets for almost 11 minutes into the crowd, only stopping to reload his weapons.
I knew many people who were at the festival and I thank God every day they all made it home safe, but for the 59 others who didn't, my heart is absolutely broken.
This incident goes beyond grief for many of us. It has formed a thick sense of fear within us all. No longer do we fear a gunman open firing at the school, church, or workplace-- but we now fear being executed brutally by an invisible shooter.
We keep saying that enough is enough but each shooting seems to get worse than the last one. I really don't understand the logic behind lawmakers and state legislatures. I don't understand why on average, the US has had enough mass shootings to make up each day of the year. And I really, really don't understand how one man was able to own almost 45 guns and was legally able to modify some to shoot fully automatic.
It's politics. It's messy. No one really ever agrees. But for the love of God, how far does this have to go? We are better than this. This is not the America I want. I want to feel safe, not just for myself but for everyone-- because everyone deserves to feel safe.
I don't care that Stephen Paddock never committed a crime in his life. I don't care that he was a "kind" partner to his girlfriend. And I don't care that he was an excellent gambler. The reality is that this crooked, demented old man was able to store an arsenal of guns in his home and hotel room. This disgusting human was able to devastate so many families in the United States of America.
Many people have been saying it's not the time to talk about politics. But, honestly, I don't really know when I AM supposed to talk about politics because clearly everyone's "thoughts and prayers" aren't stopping a man from shattering the glass on his 32nd-floor suite window and shooting an automatic weapon into a crowd of innocent families.
I'm scared. Honestly and truly. This week's events have shaken me more than I could have ever expected. I'm so sick and tired of no one doing anything. Republican or Democrat, we all are living in this fear.
To the senators, congressmen, and many others who are fortunate enough to have the power to actually stop these atrocities: would you actually do something?
As Americans, we look to our leaders to guide us and trust that these politicians are really doing what they think is best for the country. I'm at a crossroads right now. I really don't understand why our voices are not heard and I don't understand how anyone could sacrifice someone's life in order to avoid talking about the gun violence in America. As a leader, you're held to a certain standard. People are dying-- and they have been for a long time. We're afraid and rightfully so. We need gun control. As we saw this weekend, there are far too many holes that can allow someone to gain access to weapons that can cause these devastating effects. IN ADDITION to the gun control, we need mental health programs that can indicate warning signs and prevention methods for people like Paddock. It's not one or the other.
What we saw on Sunday was unlike any shooting in American history and it was the result of where our country is on gun control. This event showed us that it's not about stopping certain people from gaining access to guns, it's about stopping the circulation of guns in general. Las Vegas showed us how a white, older male with no history of crime can slip below the radar, build an arsenal of weapons, modify the guns with legal means to create fully automatic shooting, and cause the death of 59 individuals as well as injure 500 more.
It wasn't the crazy man next store who lives with his mother. It wasn't ISIS or the Taliban or Al Qaeda. It wasn't a black man. It was someone who's demographic makes up most of our own government.
My heart goes out to anyone who has been affected by the Mandalay Bay shooting. I truly wish the US was better than this. I wish no one in this world had to feel what so many families are feeling now. My heart is broken and I don't know why people do such awful things sometimes. I don't know why these things have to happen.
This is also the time I would like to thank and honor those who helped others Sunday night. I want to thank you for showing us that evil will not stop the good in our human hearts. As Paddock unleashed a storm of bullets onto Route 91 concertgoers, people were still willing to put themselves in harm's way to save family, friends, and strangers. This bleak silver-lining has shown me how to keep faith in the human race. You heroes have shown me what it means to have true courage, and all of us are in debt to you for your actions.
Things need to change. People need to understand what's at risk and why we need to implement change. This reform is way past overdue, but for the victims of all gun violence's sake, we need a better America.
It's been 5 days.
5 days since 59 people were murdered.
5 days since our worst nightmare.
How many days more will we have to wait to stop gun violence?