8 Things I'd Rather Have Than Aunt Flow

8 Things I'd Rather Have Than Aunt Flow

A somewhat humorous, but completely true list of things I'd rather have.
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As a woman who is done with having babies and is past the “uterus needs a baby now” phase, periods really serve no purpose to me. Logically I understand that it’s a part of life and the female body is an intricate web of nerves, emotions and nonsense filled with extra blood several days a month, but my opinion still stands. I can think of a million things I’d rather occur each month than a visit from the never on time Aunt Flow. Here’s my top eight.

1. An actual visit from an actual aunt named Flow.

Seriously, how awesome would that be? She would be quirky, fast-talking, probably snorts when she laughs and always has a bag of chocolate. And in my head, she’s a part of the Red Hat Society, take it or leave it.

2. Donating blood to dying people.

Slightly inappropriate and I totally get that, but what better way to spend your days? Donating blood is a serious issue and more people should donate blood. Is there a sign-up list that can swap out my flow for donation?

3. Spending the day with puppies.

Or even kittens, the love is basically the same. For one full day, eight hours, instead of focusing on a pad riding up my crack, I’d rather focus on getting lovings from a dozen puppies. That puppy breath is amazing and regardless of how done I am with having babies, I’m not sure I’ll ever get tired of puppy breath.

4. Having a single day to do absolutely nothing.

As a mother of two, a single day to do absolutely nothing is something I dream about. They happen very often, never last a full day and I can’t remember the last time I had one. My single day includes a bubble bath, not stepping foot in my kitchen and binge watching shows on Netflix.

5. Watch child birthing videos for four hours.

This isn’t something I would actually like to do, but it could be a good deterrent to make people want to be careful when having sex. If sex education was a class that every person was required to go through with the full-length videos of having a child come out of a very sensitive spot, I’d bet more people would be willing to practice abstinence and safe sex. Also, I think four hours is a good cut off because people do need time to recover and have an appetite to eat.

6. Watch Steel Magnolias, My Girl and every Nicholas Sparks movie back to back.

I could be the only one here, but I am a woman full of emotion. I tend to use my period days to let my emotions run wild. One night out of my several nights, I fill up on chocolate, tissues and sad or sappy movies. Don’t judge me and I won’t judge you.

7. Be an extra on the set of Carrie.

Since I’m already a professional on cleaning up bodily fluids from not only myself, but also my children, I feel like this would be a walk in the park. Also, since this is free range requests, can I have the 1976 cast? Sissy Spacek is pretty awesome. Thanks!

8. A text message, email or snail mail of congratulations.

A simple text message saying, “Congrats, you’re not pregnant” or “Your body is right on track” or “Maybe next month” would suffice. Why our bodies are designed this way is all a part of the biological flow of things is beyond me, but I suppose is something after 26 years that I should just accept as a part of life.

There you have it, folks. A quick list of things I would rather have or do than get a monthly visit from Aunt Flow. Why is it called Aunt Flow? Is it because she’s never welcomed through the door, never on time, stays too long and never cleans up after herself? Or is it just a clever play on words? If you could replace yours with anything, what would it be?

Cover Image Credit: Fastlane Forum

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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10 Ways To Keep Your Workout Motivation According To A Personal Trainer

"ALEXA play 'Work Bitch' by Britney Spears."

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Keeping your motivation for working out is one of the number one reasons why I think people fail to achieve their fitness goals.

Now I am no "fitness guru" by any means, and I have lost my motivation many times and worked back up.

No one is perfect when it comes to working out, and everyone can have different methods that are successful but from what I have seen, and talking to a few personal trainers, these are some of the best ways to keep your motivation and not lose track of your goals.

If you stick to these 10 ways, you will definitely have a better mindset when it comes to working out, and that will help you push yourself hard because you know that you are capable of much more than you think!

That is the last piece of advice I will leave you with, you are so much more capable of than you think. I recall so many times in the gym, I've thought I was gonna just collapse or crumble cause I was so tired, but time and time again I persevere and finish a set, and see that I can really push myself to the limits, and this is when I've seen the best results.

1. Talk about your goals.

You have to speak your goals into existence. Also speaking about them to others can help hold you accountable and you are working so hard for them, don't give up and let what you accomplished so far go to waste!

2. Get a consistent workout buddy.

This is something that I have found helps me out a lot, my roommate Jordan and I are always checking in on each other to make sure that we've worked out!

3. Want better for yourself, not to impress someone else.

This is also very important, if you have fitness goals solely to impress someone else, you will never be satisfied, or never feel like enough.

4. Want it more than you say.

You really have to want your fitness goals more than you are saying. If you have this goal that is driving you constantly in the back of your mind, your motivation will keep coming from within.

5. Have a scheduled workout plan.

If you have a workout plan that a professional or yourself has constructed, it gives you something to follow and not break. Having a plan for yourself will help keep yourself on track.

6. Take pictures every week!

Seems cheesy, but taking photos of yourself every week can hold you accountable but more importantly, you are able to see results, big or small, if you aren't seeing them in person, you'll be able to tell through the photos.

7. Know what your plan is before you go to the gym.

You should know what your plan is before you go to the gym, try not to just wing it. If you are winging it, who knows if you are really pushing yourself and constantly challenging yourself every gym session.

8. Try your best to maintain a healthy diet during the week.

This can be difficult of course, meal prepping is someting that can always helps! BUT if you don't have time to meal prep, then just go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of healthy snacks to eat throughout the day to keep your motabalism working. Get foods to fuel your body so all your hard workouts don't go to waste!

9. Stick to a plan, it'll be hard at first, but it only gets easier.

Once you get into the swing of things, get into a routine, you'll get used to it. And then you will truly enjoy it, feel great, and have more energy!

10. Surround yourself with others that also have the same goals as you.

As cliche as it is, you do pick up the traits of the people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with overachievers, hard workers, who have the same fitness goals as you, you'll all work hard together and encourage each other along the way!

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