Jean-Paul Sartre once wrote: “Hell is other people.” For introverts, this is a way of life. Come this September, millions of recent high school graduates will be shipped off to a nine-month long summer camp we call “college.” The social adjustment will prove difficult for every student, but it will be especially hard for introverts. For most of us, we are strained by social activities and seek solitude. College is full of forced social interaction that may prove difficult for introverts. But, with my freshman year at Goucher College almost over, here are eight things I have learned about being an introvert at college.
1. First thing’s first: freshman orientation.
There’s no way around it. Everyone has to go through this forced meet & greet, consisting of overzealous students, long tours, and (worst of all) group activities. Don’t get me wrong, freshman orientation has good intentions: a chance to get oriented with your campus, meet teachers, current students, and your fellow incoming freshman; but as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. There’s an unrivaled level of awkwardness when strangers are forced to talk to each other, even for extroverts. Unfortunately, freshman orientation is required. So be prepared to answer basic questions such as “Where are you from?”, “What’s do you want to study?”, and “Why did you chose this college?” Just suck it up for that week or two and keep yourself busy by planning for classes.
2. Ironically, big cities can often be a safe haven for introverts.
The reality of cities are that everyone is too busy to talk to strangers; small town “folk” are all too eager to chit chat someone they’ve never met. Cities also have a medley of places to go on your own, such as museums, galleries, movie theaters and libraries.
3. Headphones and sunglasses are your best friends.
People are less prone to engage you if they believe they are interrupting your song (fun fact: most of the time when my headphones are on, I’m not listening to music. I’m just trying to avoid talking to people.) Sunglasses are also a helpful accessory. I, like most introverts, deplore making eye-contact, especially with strangers. Dark sunglasses allow you to look elsewhere while still being engaged with a person.
4. Roommates.
Unless you’re really lucky, you’ll have to share a room freshman year. For introverts, this is problematic on so many levels. Small talk, messiness, odors, claustrophobia, sexile (you’ll figure it out), noise, and the general presence of other human beings are only the beginning of a very long freshman year. And like freshman orientation, there’s no way to avoid them. So unless you happen to have very social roommates, it’s a good idea to take refuge in the library during your free time.
5. You don’t have to make friends, but it’s a good idea to have a few.
I’m not getting soft when I suggest this. I’m firmly misanthropic. But from a pragmatic perspective, friends are useful. If you get sick or if you’re in a dangerous situation, you need to have at least one person who you can rely on.
6. Seriously, you do need a friend or two.
Whether you want to or not, you may make a friend. Humans naturally crave some amount of interaction. While being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you are lonely, it can be refreshing to talk to an actual person every once in awhile. This doesn’t mean you make a BFF, but it could be as simple as a weekly lunch with someone on your floor. That one chat may make all the difference if you start to feel lonely.
7. Find power in doing things by yourself.
In our ever growing world, there is a stigma around doing things by yourself. Is it odd that, on several occasions, I go to The Cheesecake Factory by myself? Some would think it odd or even sad. However, the reality is that I am comfortable enough with who I am that I don’t need the constant presence of another person. There is a power in that. You need to recognize that and overcome the stigma eating or going to the movies by yourself.
8. Don’t feel obligated to take risks.
In preparing to take on social life at college, you'll hear a few worn out pieces of advice. The most popular cliche is to "take risks". While that sounds great in theory and going through with it can lad to genuinely positive results, taking risks are not the strong suits of an introvert. Risks open you up to the possibility of harm and uneasiness, which is why our minds tend to stay away from them. It's completely normal to not want to take risks and don't let anyone tell you it isn't. As you can see from the GIF below, sometimes you're better off playing it safe.
