If you haven't been periodically woken up in the middle of the night by an audial attack of vicious growls, hisses or meows, consider yourself lucky.
Living with animals is horrible. Sure, they're cute and provide companionship when you're lonely, but the cons greatly outweigh the pros. (Unless we're talking about my cat. He's perfect.)
Here are some things every pet owner knows to be true.
1. This thing should really be called a hair roller.
At least, that's what we always called it. When you live with animals, lint is nowhere near your biggest wardrobe problem.
2. Loud music is necessary for survival.
Headphones are a godsend for anyone who can't stand the sound of claws scraping against the back door or the barks at people who aren't really there.
3. You will never get to go through a goth phase.
Every day, you have to make a decision to either boldly walk out the door covered in visible tufts of hair or change into one of your many articles of clothing that are the same color as your pet.
4. Allergy medicine is a life-saver.
Your parents may have tried to convince you that you weren't allergic, but you always knew the truth as you shoveled Claritin down your throat.
5. You will constantly smell like a vet's office.
These vets may be giving you a thumbs up, but you just know they smell like tooth decay.
6. Helping your dog catch a squirrel is the most exhilarating and rewarding feeling.
Silently creeping toward the back door with your dog and waiting for a squirrel to climb into your vision so you can quickly shove the door open and unleash your canine's wrath gives your life more fulfillment than your career or any of your human relationships.
7. You will never be cold at night.
Yeah, you'll get woken up by a paw hitting your face every morning, but at least you're saving money on blankets.
8. No matter how annoying your pets are, you always miss them when you're away.
And when you get back home, you apologize profusely for leaving them behind.