With Valentine’s Day approaching, the pressures of dating are even greater than they have been in the past. You may find yourself making snap decisions about who to take out for the special day. If you are fortunate enough to find someone who you feel you may be with for the long haul, props to you. If you identify as an introverted person, you are not alone. And if you happen to find a special someone who is anything but introverted, here are eight tips to help ease the potentially awkward romantic journey.
1. Get over your fear of being embarrassed.
If you have ever encountered an extrovert, you are already aware that belting out Beyoncé in the grocery store or dancing the Cotton Eye Joe in the middle of the mall are typical behaviors. But these quirks are a strong part of their identity, and they have little to no shame about it. There is nothing more annoying than indulging your musical whims in public or even approaching strangers asking to pet their dog, and having your friend or significant other stifle this because they are embarrassed by the stares. Learn to love these qualities. If being embarrassed in public truly bothers you and constant corrections towards your loud and proud honey come up empty handed, I strongly suggest adopting the “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality.
2. Learn to love meeting new people.
As mentioned in number one, extroverted individuals have a strong tendency to talk to strangers, despite being told otherwise by parents as a child. They simply love approaching random people and striking up a conversation. Get used to meeting new people and learning stuff about them you never wanted to know, because chances are, your significant other is genuinely interested in “where they bought that awesome scarf.”
3. Work on your listening skills.
Full disclosure, being extroverted and being talkative usually go hand in hand. If the day is over and you just want to sit and watch the new episode of whatever, be prepared to have to occasionally abandon this luxury to patiently listen to your sweetheart vent passionately or ramble excitedly about anything and everything that happened over the course of the day. We don’t even expect a response apart from the occasional, “I know” or, “What?!” just to assure us that you’re paying attention.
4. Work on your communication skills.
Extroverts are very likely to value communication just as highly as they value the patient listener. Be ready to share things about yourself that you didn’t think anyone would notice, because extroverts are typically very observant people who are in tune with how everyone around them is feeling. They will press you to reveal what is really bothering you, even when… especially when you think nobody cares.
5. Learn to love wholeheartedly.
Extroverts make friends fearlessly and enter relationships because of the smallest connection with another person. Because of this, we are terribly vulnerable towards people who don’t surrender all inhibitions and doubts when forming any kind of relationship. I recommend that, if you decide to date an extrovert, you know full well that we are not ones to do anything halfway. We fall in love easily, trust though we’ve been hurt, and make similar romantic mistakes multiple times just because we want so badly for everyone to be who we think they are. You have been warned.
6. Be patient.
This is an important thought to consider. When you go out with an extroverted person, they will make bathroom friends, dressing room friends, grocery store friends, coffee shop friends, library friends, restaurant friends, and the list goes on. I urge you to be patient when they strike up a conversation with a person who “also got two shots of caramel in their latte," because you will meet the most interesting people, get the most out of your relationship, and get the most out of life this way.
7. Be okay with opinions.
We all have an extremely opinionated person in our lives. Whether it is a crazy relative or that guy who lives downstairs and yells at CNN, people like this can get obnoxious. However, extroverts are open and love to share. They will be very frank and honest with you from the beginning, and if you can think of an issue, it is likely that they will have an opinion that they are willing to share with you. Don’t let this bother you, you will learn a lot about your partner and yourself if you simply practice the listening skills mentioned in number three!
8. Forget how accustomed you have become to mind games.
Extroverts are, more often than not, open books. They are not ones to hide how they feel because communication is very important to them when entering a relationship. Occasionally, a situation will arise in which an extrovert dating an introvert feels the need to drop something that upsets them because they feel that it isn’t a big deal, or that you are tired of hearing it. Don’t let them do this because it will place an unnecessary and dangerous strain on the relationship if a person who likes to feel heard doesn’t.