Now that you're all settled into your college houses you realize it's time to christen your new home in the best way possible: your very first house party. At first, you think it'll be such a great idea because it establishes your house as a fun party place, but after the initial fun idea turns into the logistical process of having the party, you realize how it is truly a hassle.
1. You furiously clean everything.
You and the rest of your housemates don't necessarily care about the piling dishes in the sink or the gross stains on the bathroom tiles. Your party guests, however, might think you're disgusting slobs. If anything, the party motivates you to scrub every inch of the house that will be seen by people and make it look not like nasty college kids live there.
2. You hide all valuables.
As much as you love your porcelain cat statue or Yellow Submarine built out of Legos and want to show them off to everyone, you also think about drunk idiots handling your valuable possessions and quickly hide them away to safety. They'll get to see them when they come over during the day, sober.
3. You consider buying a new doorknob for your door just so you can lock it with a key.
Similar to your valuables, your bedroom contains all your personal belongings that you don't want anyone to just go in and touch or take. Keeping your room locked prevents anyone from going in there and doing anything questionable on your bed (or floor or desk).
4. You go broke.
You realize providing food, drinks, plates, cups, forks, knives, cups, napkins, chairs and whatever else for 40+ people is very costly. Unfortunately, you don't realize this until you're standing at the cash register at Walmart with a cart full of too many hot dogs and marshmallows to seem normal for just one tiny person to be buying.
5. You make it BYOPME (Bring Your Own Pretty Much Everything).
After going broke, you realize that a simple solution to this might just be to tell everyone to bring as much as they can! Bring Your Own Booze quickly escalates to Bring Your Own Food, Drinks, Chairs, Cups, Utensils and pretty much anything else they'd need.
6. You decorate every blank space to seem cool.
If this is your first house party, then one of the top responses you get from guests is "I can't wait to see your house!" Then you realize that your brown room decorated in unpacked boxes and miscellaneous trash isn't exactly the look that you're going for. A quick visit to Amazon and Pinterest helps to quickly pull your room together, at least as much as you can do the night before.
7. You think about everything that could possibly go bad.
What if people invite a million other guests? What if someone breaks something? What if the old couple next door calls the cops?! At this stage in the planning process, you've already been stressed and beaten down enough to start exaggerating everything that could possibly go wrong.
8. You try to act like you're not stressing over this party to seem like a cool, laid-back host.
Beer in on hand, hot dog in the other, sporting shades and a backwards cap in your hammock, your guests would have never known about how an hour ago you were yelling at your housemates telling them to get their shit together.
All in all, just relax and enjoy your party, and pray that everyone will not behave like animals.