As young people on a quest for love and acceptance, it is our time to figure out who we are in the world and what we want in life. We came to college to find ourselves and to find out what we wanted to be when we grew up. But somewhere along the way, we have begun to try to figure out who we want to be with for the rest of our wonderful and crazy lives. Although college isn’t the greatest of places to find “the one” in a sea of Tinder dates and bar small talk, we still attempt to figure out where that special someone is and what characteristics we are looking for in that person. But in the overwhelming and exciting time of dating, comes the realization that a first date is an inevitable start, which totally sucks. There is nothing worse than the first date jitters and surface level conversations. While a first date is an important part of the beginning of any relationship, here’s why they absolutely suck.
1. The pre-date jitters
While a first date can be exciting, it can also be very nerve-racking for all the reasons listed below.
2. It’s more appropriate to dress nice than to wear pajamas
Unfortunately, the first date is a lot like the job interview in the sense that you want to dress the part and put your best foot forward. Sadly, this isn’t usually considered yoga pants and a comfy t-shirt.
3. You are totally terrified of eating like a pig or spilling something on your clothes
Spaghetti, wings, and pho are really all things you should stay away from on a first date because they are extremely difficult to eat with grace. This is terribly sad because those are all great food options.
4. The conversations, unless you are extremely lucky, will sound a lot like the first round of recruitment
“What’s your major?”, “What do you want to do with your life?”, and “Where are you from?” are all surface level, topics of conversation covered both during a first date and during the first round of recruitment. So either spice it up and ask some different questions or let’s just skip to the second date.
5. You can’t snort when you laugh, burp, sneeze, cough, or fart without feeling like you’ve ruined the entire date completely.
Major bummer. It’s sad that completely natural bodily functions are so frowned upon during a first date. What you see is what you get.
6. They won’t know how truly embarrassing you are until about the 3rd date or until they meet your friends
Sometimes you feel like you can’t be your totally weird, uncensored self until around the 3rd date or at least until they meet your friends, who will totally spill your deepest darkest secrets. Best foot forward is sometimes a hard thing to do.
7. That awkward moment when you are about to say goodbye and you don’t know whether to hug, kiss, or high five
It is the end of the date and you’ve had a good time, but did they? Do we just hug and say “see you next time”? Or do I dive right in a pray it goes well? The end of the date can be the most stressful part.
8. It's hard for people to see who you truly are
It's hard to tell from a first date who that person is on the inside. Not saying that it isn't possible. But how does that person treat their friends and interact with them on a daily basis? How does that person love and spend time with their family? What brings them the most joy and what drives them?
If you think about the purpose of a first date, to meet and get to know people, then all of these jitters and rules for a first date don't really seem to make sense at all. If we want that person to get to know us then shouldn't we allow them to truly get to know us no matter what?