I remember being in second grade and watching an episode of full house. The plot: DJ started starving herself in order to impress her friends at a pool party. I remember, so vividly, thinking how stupid that was. I was so sure I would never fall into that kind of behavior... until I did.

I started to believe I was fat in 7th grade when one of my very good friends brought up the idea at her house one day after school. Middle school is a hard time for everyone; it's when you start to figure out who you are, what you like, who likes you. It makes sense that you would be insecure about things like your weight and height. I, however, developed an unhealthy obsession with the idea of achieving the perfect body. I was alway thin, but I was curvy. I had boobs and hips and a waist that was very obvious, something that wasn't exactly in style at the time. I started to rapidly lose weight, as I restricted my eating and started to exercise almost religiously. At my height and body stature, a healthy weight would be 127-135lbs. My lowest weight was 113lbs.

6 years and 40(ish) pounds later, I'm finally content with my body. It helps me get through my day, think about things, write, sing, act, and do all the things I love to do. Here are 70 things I can do/have done now that I wouldn't have been able to do when I restricted my eating.

1. Stand up without feeling lightheaded
2. Bake cookies for my best friends, just to show them that I love them
3. Eat a piece of cake at my best friend’s birthday party
4. Eat a piece of cake at my birthday party
5. Eat a bowl of ice cream and had a really nice conversation with my dad 2 nights before he died
6. Chase my nieces and nephews around without feeling dizzy afterwards
7. Eat the dinner my aunt made, even though I don't know the exact caloric value of the meal
8. Wear a bathing suit at the beach with my family
9. Be a good example for my little cousins. (I was so afraid when I used to spend time with them that they would notice my bad habits and turn into a small version of me, which was my biggest fear at the time. I never want them to be as unhappy as I was.)
10. Gone on a trip to Europe with my class and, more specifically, 2 of my closest friends
11. Bought 2 prom dresses that I loved and felt beautiful in
12. Had a wonderful time at prom with some people that loved me and made me feel beautiful
13. Went to Disney World for Senior Week with some of my favorite people
14. Go ziplining in the rainforest with my mom and brother
15. Got into my number 1 college for what I've wanted to do my whole life
16. Got a lead in my senior show in high school
17. Became a writer for the Odyssey
18. Ate chicken parm, aka my favorite food of all time, in Italy
19. Watched all 8 Harry Potter Films in a marathon and ate junk food the whole time to keep myself awake
20. Drank my favorite Starbucks coffee when my friend brought it to rehearsal for me
21. Went on an ice cream run with my best friends at 2AM on a Tuesday night
22. Donated blood for people that need it
23. Focused on building up relationships with people that love me instead of hating myself
24. Focused on school instead of worrying about how much I had at lunch or if I walked enough that day
25. Watched the sunrise on the beach after a long night of laughing and eating and telling stories
26. Had a cup of tea with honey and a slice of homemade blueberry bread for breakfast
27. Grown my hair out
28. Chopped it all off for people that needed it
29. Taken my dogs on leisurely walks instead of 3 mile runs (where they'd get tired and make me carry them both up the hill, the poor things)
30. Bought myself a pair of jeans that I feel like I look nice in
31. Gone out to get milkshakes after dance class with some of my best friends
32. Made some amazing, wonderful friends that love and support me at school
33. Watched my little cousins and nieces and nephew be born and grow up
34. Gone to DC for a day with my best friend
35. ...and tried Georgetown cupcakes while I was there (They were so good, 10/10 would recommend)
36. Had some pie at Waitress the Musical with my cousin
37. Didn't have to justify eating dinner with my mom
38. Found my favorite recipe for sugar cookies
39. Taken pictures with people I love so, so much
40. Had a milkshake at my best friend's place of work to support her/ make her wait on me
41. Gone entire days without wondering how much I weigh
42. Worn skirts/shorts when it was too hot outside and didn't worry about how big my thighs looked the entire time
43. Saved space on my phone by deleting my food diary
44. Gone out to support my friends instead of staying at home and worrying about how much I ate that day
45. Drank a glass of soda at dinner
46. Drank a cup of hot chocolate when it was cold out
47. Drank a peppermint mocha (with whipped cream) at Christmas time
48. Ate turkey and potatoes smothered in gravy on Thanksgiving
49. Ate the strawberry shortcake at my graduation party
50. ...and the chocolate pudding cake
51. ...and the marble cake
52. (I've eaten a lot of cake)
53. Bought a box of girl scout cookies to support my friend's sister
54. Smiled because I was genuinely happy, not just because people were looking at me and expected it
55. Got tea and tea sandwiches with my best friend for her 18th birthday
56. Went on vacation with my friends without worrying if they are going to look better than me in a bathing suit
57. Went months on end without stepping on a scale
58. Had peanut butter and jelly for lunch without feeling guilty afterwards
59. Ate pizza on Friday nights
60. Ate Chinese food for dinner
61. Handled struggles in a healthy way instead of downward spiraling
62. Accepted compliments
63. Gone to fitness classes for fun and because I wanted to be healthy instead of worrying about how many calories I was burning the entire time
64. Had pancakes and orange juice for breakfast
65. Ate waffles and ice cream for dessert
66. Kept a jar of jolly ranchers on my desk
67. Made Rice Krispy treats with my friends in my dorm room stove
68. Fell asleep without having to make a conscious effort to ignore thoughts of how many calories I had that day
69. Worn outfits I actually liked to family parties instead of baggy clothes to hide myself
70. Got a plate of seconds in the dining hall

Eating is good for you. It gives you the energy to get through the day, and I promise that life will be much fuller when your stomach is. Eating disorders are a serious problem, and if you or someone you love suffers from it, ask your friends and family for help, or call the national eating disorder hotline at 1-800-931-2237 for some confidential help. Be kind to yourself, it's so, incredibly worth it.