The subjectivity of the term "happiness" aside, while individuals live day-to-day we often forget one of the most valuable aspects of life: our personal satisfaction with life and oneself. As I'm enduring a vital coming-of-age period as a college student, one of the peak eras in one's life and personal development, I've realized some activities that I find myself engaging in that may hinder my happiness form time to time. When juggling academic goals, social relationships and personal struggles, it's important to keep your happiness as a priority above all things. For this reason, these seven points are obstacles we all tend to encounter but in reality, truly don't have to.
1. Obsessing over the future.
We all do it. As someone who loves to know every detail of how my life might go, I know I find solace in certainty and accurate predictions. However, it's also a fact that the outcome of the future is always uncertain as life can go any way. This is something many people have a difficult time grasping but really should try to. Being able to accept life's potential hurdles helps allow us to focus on the present and what we can control at the moment to work towards our future. As they say, there's no time like the present and the urge to control future events should therefore be eliminated to increase happiness.
2. Keeping unrealistic expectations.
We make expectations about everything; it's part of human nature, and although expectations are necessary for achieving various goals, many get too carried away in setting unrealistically high expectations and end up disappointed when things don't work out the way they want to. Whether it's with the weather or the people around you, being reasonable with your expectations is super important as the higher you raise your expectations, the worse you'll feel when those expectations aren't met. High standards but low expectations is the way to go in many cases in order to work towards your happiness while staying realistic.
3. Maintaining toxic relationships.
Although it's a fact that Britney's song is a bop, being addicted to toxic relationship is a significant barrier to overall happiness. Many are often blind to the toxicity in their relationships as we feel that it's something we just have to deal with. Surrounding yourself with negativity, nonconstructive criticism and overall bad vibes is a huge setback when it comes to both professional and personal goals. If you hang around people who don't make you feel positive about your life events or accomplishments, or don't care for any aspect of your well-being, don't. Immerse yourself with people who truly care about you, stay honest and support you and the goals you want to achieve. Having a good foundation inevitably builds yourself towards your goals and your full potential.
4. Fearing the idea of being alone.
I find college to be one of the first steps young adults take to understanding that personal time is vital to self-care and focus on your goals and future endeavors. However, many have a hard time grasping this as they fear being alone. Social interaction is important, however you shouldn't feel obligated to be spending time with people 24/7. Alone time is extremely important and should be incorporated in some way every day so you learn to be more independent and to learn to take control of your own happiness.
5. Holding grudges.
We all have 'em -- whether an old feud from the eighth grade, sibling drama or a terrible ex, grudges are never really worth holding. Guarding negative thoughts about someone or something for a long period of time only gives you bad vibes when thinking of the situation at hand. People often change and grow over time, and the past cannot be changed. Learning to accept past events that may have made you upset and moving past it is a huge character builder, and giving second chances helps you become a more understanding person and have a more positive outlook on the world.
6. Putting happiness in the hands of others.
Now I'm not saying not to trust anyone you meet, however a lot of times people tend to put their happiness in the hands of others, whether it be a group of friends, girlfriend or boyfriend, etc. Of course it's great to have amazing relationships with the people around you, but it's important to keep in mind that the one person that should be in charge of your happiness is you. Never forget that you are in control of how you perceive various situations and your overall outlook on life.
7. Living for others instead of living for yourself.
In reality, life is demanding. Those around you have expectations that they have for you, and you probably juggle a lot both professionally and personally regarding your relationships. At the end of the day, your personal happiness is the utmost priority and you shouldn't feel guilty about putting your personal goals and content first sometimes.
Prioritizing personal happiness is a difficult feat as we live in a fast-paced world filled with responsibility and expectations. Making small alterations to your point of view will help improve your emotional health and overall wellbeing. These are some steps you can take to better yourself, create a positive outlook on the world around you and spread positive vibes to whoever you meet.