It's no secret that servers put on a show for their tables, but how much do you really know about what we're thinking? Let me give you a little taste of the service industry mindset

1. We do not like your kids. Sorry.

They're messy and as much as you care about what they spill on the floor at home, that thought seems to escape parents when they're not responsible for the mess. I had a table last week that let a child dump a bowl of shredded cheese on his face (and subsequent floor) after screaming, "I love cheese." Thanks.

2. You are not our only table, stop glaring at us.

We would love to be able to ask you what you're staring at since we know you can see us taking orders one table away. We left your table 2 minutes ago and will be with you shortly.

3. You're too drunk to be in a family restaurant.

You came in with your family and thought it'd be nice to have dinner and drinks, but when did that become a pregame for the night out? Falling on the table, knocking over your coke, and breaking a plate are all sure signs that you can't handle the shot flight you took. Please know your limits when you sit at my table.

4. Snapping at us does nothing.

If anything, It makes us a little slower at getting to your table. Theres something about being snapped at like a dog that grates on our nerves. I mean, lets be honest, you're probably not tipping us well anyways

5. My service deserved a better tip.

This is a big one. We do our best in the hopes that you have the benevolence to tip us a responsible amount. I know I'm not the first to tell you that the standard $5 is not always enough. We have to give a percent of our sales (NOT tips) to a busser, food runner, and our bar if we have one. Stiffing a tip is not ok.

6. We close in 5 minutes, why are you here?

I can understand that you're hungry at 10:55, so am I, but seeing as how we close in 5 minutes, could you not try a 24hr establishment like Waffle House or Whataburger? I'd appreciate it if you didn't keep me for the extra hour.

7. Your wait was not my fault.

Please try not to be angry at your server when your food takes too long. We can't cook it, we just serve it.