7 Things You Should Be Doing Instead Of Writing That Final Paper

7 Things You Should Be Doing Instead Of Writing That Final Paper

You know that paper that was assigned at the beginning of the semester? Yeah, the one you still haven't written.

You know, that paper. The one that was assigned to you at the beginning of the semester. You have been going along completing the small steps toward its completion that were due every other week. You have a basic outline, but you're still avoiding sitting down and hammering out those ten pages you still need to write for the final draft. So, while I sit here procrastinating on my own, here’s a list of ways you can procrastinate on your final paper. Really, though I urge you not to do this, we all know a little procrastination never hurt anybody, right?

1. Watch a full season of a show you’ve seen on Netflix a few too many times.

Who wouldn’t want to watch season five of “Grey’s Anatomy” for the third time? I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want to watch tragedy over and over again. Emotional pain caused by Shonda Rhimes > that paper.

2. Count how many times Donald Trump insults something in a public interview.

Cultural heritage? Sacred landmarks? Other leaders? There are so many different ways you could count the insulting remarks our great leader makes on a daily basis. You could even calculate the proportion of insulting Tweets he writes per day. It will be overwhelmingly disappointing and interesting all at the same time. But, even overwhelming disappointment sounds better than writing your paper.

3. Create a budget with the money you barely have

I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather look at the crushing amount of nonexistent money I have in my bank account than write that paper. Some losses are just easier to swallow.

4. Shop online with the money you don't have. *Throws newly made budget out the window*

New leggings? Oh yeah! Wait, are you saying panties are 7/$27?! That never happens! How about socks; everyone loves socks. I bet I could find more cute coffee mugs I don't need! Ahh yes, spending money you don't have on items you don't need still feels better than writing that paper.

5. Clean your room.

Who doesn’t love a clean room? I do. I actually enjoy cleaning it for some reason, too. But, then again, I've always been a little odd). At this point, vacuuming, dusting, folding laundry and cleaning the dishes all sound a little bit better than sitting down to that daunting paper again.

6. Pluck your overgrown eyebrows.

College has let my eyebrows down; a girl ain’t got time for personal upkeep! So, sit yourself down in front of that mirror and pluck, pluck away. It may hurt, but it hurts less than that paper.

7. Count the hairs on your arm.

Hey, I’ve always been curious as to how many little hairs are on my arm. You can even take it a step further and measure how long each one is. Hell, find the average length of your arm hair and create an Excel spreadsheet. Make a scatter plot...or a histogram! Literally anything would be better than sitting down for hours to write that paper.

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The Logan Paul Fiasco Is Just A Symptom Of A Much Larger Problem

In the wake of Logan Paul's suicide forest debacle, I decided to explore how this could even happen in the first place.

Wow, 2018 sure has started off with a bang, hasn't it? First, Donald Trump seemingly threatens North Korea with nuclear annihilation. Then, all these stupid memes about tide pods and Knuckles the echidna circulate across the web, and finally, Logan Paul decided that he would not be outdone.

Yes, the YouTube star decided to vlog in Japan, and every foreigner who has ever hated American tourists for their arrogance and ignorance has been validated. When he arrived in the country, Paul stated that Japanese culture was all about respect. He then proceeded to run around streets in traditional Japanese attire, buy a Game Boy Color from a store only to immediately spike it on the road like a football, and oh yeah, went to the suicide forest, and decided to film the body of a man they found who had recently hung himself in the forest.

Yep, Logan Paul found a dead body and decided to post it on YouTube. I imagine this is what the end of "Stand By Me" would've looked like if it were written today, and by a trash person. Paul has since apologized after lots of backlashes.

Logan Paul is one of, if not the fastest growing star on YouTube, and this controversy has barely affected his ascent in subscribers, some of which defended his actions, and even sent threats to those who didn't. Also, I feel I am justified in saying that both Logan and his brother Jake Paul (a former Disney channel actor turned YouTuber) are both arrogant pricks who make their livings messing with people and being an overall nuisance to anyone they encounter and have no concept of consequences for their actions, but this article isn't about them.

I believe that their popularity is only a result of several fundamental problems with YouTube.

First, I want to get into YouTube's algorithms. It's how the site decides what videos are recommended for you, and more importantly to this story, what videos are on the trending page. Logan Paul's suicide forest video, the one with the dead body in the thumbnail, and the one with the words "dead body" in the title was NUMBER 1 on trending.

YouTube's algorithm exposed millions of people to this deplorable video.

YouTube wasn't even able to take the video down; this was a video that had to have been flagged thousands of times, and it was only removed because Logan Paul himself took it down after all of the backlashes. YouTube was simply unable to do anything about this, and there have to be changed to ensure that they don't let things like this slip through the cracks again.

The real question, at least to me, is why even make a video this ridiculous and ignorant and disrespectful in the first place?

The answer, of course, is for the content. Unfortunately, this is not new. YouTubers have been doing shocking things to get views for years now, and this has led to the bar being raised. Many things that were shocking before simply aren't anymore. We've seen it so many times we get numb, so creators come up with even crazier things to do. Eventually, it becomes normalized, and the cycle continues on and on until we have people filming dead bodies in haunted forests.

YouTubers are trying to get a rise out of us so that we click on their videos, and they're seeing how much they can get away with. It seems that on the internet, no matter which site you go to, the loudest, most obnoxious, most divisive voices always rise to the top, but they don't have to. We can resist that knee-jerk angry share that they want from us.

We don't have to give these idiots the light of day, and we can tell them that we have had enough of their crap, not with our voices, but with our views, because once those go away, they'll have no choice but to listen up.

Cover Image Credit: Esther Vargas

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