I have worn my hair in its natural state without going completely bald for about 7-8 years now. Growing up in a society where your hair is seen as "unprofessional" never stopped me from wanting to rock my Afro, but at times it has made me stick out and therefore prompt awkward questions and encounters.
While I understand most of these altercations had no bad intentions from people and that it's not my job as a POC to tell people how to act, I feel that I need to address this issue.
1. Touch their hair without permission
You'd think that this was common sense, but there have been multiple times where a person has come up to me and just touched my hair! Even asking to touch it is borderline weird to me, but I've met people who don't mind as long as a person asks. I only ever let close friends touch my hair.
2. Ask them if they ever wash it
It is true that in order to maintain healthy natural hair it must be washed less. Our delicate hair strands curl in different patterns making it harder for the scalps natural oil, sebum, get down the hair strand. Constant shampooing or washing strips the hair of these natural oils. People with natural hair wash their hair with sulfate free shampoo anywhere between once a week or once every two weeks depending on personal preference and hair texture.
3. Tell them it looks like pubes
The hair between your legs and hair that grows from my scalp should NEVER be mentioned in the same sentence period.
4. Describe it as nappy
The second N-Word you shouldn't say.This word goes beyond describing kinky and tangled hair. There is a historically negative connotation surrounding this word to perpetuate natural hair as constantly unkempt. I take very careful steps to make sure my hair is tangle free.
5. Suggest other hairstyles
I wear my hair like this because that's how I like it. I do not need to cut it, straighten it or dread it.
6. Call it a distraction
If my hair is a distraction to you then that's a personal problem. It shouldn't be seen as any less normal than a person wearing their straight hair and asking me to change it is rude.
7. Tell them they have good or bad hair based on their hair texture
There is no such thing as good or bad hair. People with denser or thicker hair textures are just as valid as those with looser curls.