If you live on planet Earth, you've probably heard of the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, the terrible calamity that destroyed most of the Windy City. To this day, the cause of the fire is unknown, but here are seven suspects that should totally be put under investigation.

1. Mrs. Catherine O’Leary

Mrs. Catherine O’Leary is the most famous suspect in the Great Chicago Fire case. Publicly exonerated in 1997 (years and years after the fire, and her death), she still remains a shady individual. While her alibi is rock solid and her motives are unclear, her proximity to the disaster is certainly a tricky piece of evidence. It’s very unlikely she started it—to the point where I probably shouldn't even be accusing her right now—but she’s still a suspect.

2. Daisy the Cow

Daisy the cow is also another famous suspect in this tragedy, one of the residents in the barn that caught fire first, though many neglect to dissect her troublesome past. Not many people know this, due to the lack of actual proof, but before Daisy moved onto the O’Leary farm, her prior three residencies all burned down under suspicious circumstances. Could this be mere coincidence and bad luck? Or do we have a serial bovine arsonist on our hands? One can only question Daisy’s innocence with this fiery past.

3. Some Jealous New Yorker

Look. In the late 1800’s, Chicago was an up-and-coming city, growing so fast and great that it was rivaling the east coast mecca of New York. On its track, would it eventually surpass the Big Apple in awesomeness? Maybe. Would a jealous New Yorker have reason to destroy Chicago totally and completely because of this growth? Definitely. The funny thing is, however, is that Chicago did ultimately get more awesome than New York after the fire, with its amazing architecture and World’s Fair and deep-dish pizza and hot dogs and whatnot, so I guess that jealous New Yorker would probably be even more jealous today.

4. Aliens

Do I really need to explain this one? Aliens are always a viable suspect, no matter what time period.

5. Miss Frizzle

Okay. So I don’t think beloved school teacher Miss Frizzle would ever intentionally spark a disaster as devastating as the Great Chicago Fire, but with her magic school bus and its ability to travel through time, space, and the digestive system, it is completely possible that she took her class on a field trip to 1871 Chicago and accidentally set the city aflame. She might’ve tripped on a lit lantern, dropped a still-smoking cigarette butt, or maybe she’s not actually as innocent as everyone thinks and she intentionally did it. It’s impossible to tell why or how, but it’s easy to wonder what really happened.

6. The Great Fire Demon, Warkholg the Magnificent

If you aren’t aware of the terrifying power Warkholg the Magnificent holds, be scared. Warkholg is the Great Fire Demon, capable of leveling cities, states, countries in a sea of flickering flame. He hasn’t been seen for centuries and no one knows his whereabouts, whether in this land or some other fiery dimension. There is enough power in his pinky finger to have sparked the Great Chicago Fire. It is entirely plausible that wherever this horrifying hell-creature lies, he could have summoned enough strength to create this fire.

7. Me, but from the future

You never know what the future holds, and in my case, this future could involve time traveling back to Chicago to start the fire because I go through life having known about this event, but never knowing how it happened, and when time travel becomes possible I go back in time to discover how it really happened but then it just doesn’t happen, like I spend the entire year of 1871 there and no city burns down so I go back to the future and the future is just a terrible, terrible place (like, even worse than the world is now) because the fire never happened so then I go back one more time and set the fire myself knowing what happens if it doesn’t happen and then I return to the future to discover that everything is back to normal and then I have to live with the knowledge that I’m the cause of the Great Chicago Fire.