I've tried starting this whole shebang quite a few times. "My mother is an exceptional woman," physically causes me to roll my eyes. "My mother is the reason I am who I am today," is another one I can't bring myself to use. "My mother is my favorite woman in the world", "My mother is my role model", and "This mother's day, I'm taking the time to reflect on all of the wonderful lessons my mother taught me," all kill my anti-cliché heart just a little. My mom is more than Hallmark lines. She is someone who loves and supports me unconditionally, someone who makes me laugh, someone who is always up for a Starbucks run and so much more! I'm happy that I'm her daughter. She was the mother I needed, and the mother I got lucky enough to have. Here are 7 things I learned from her that I could never possibly forget.
1. She teaches you independence.
A single mother has had time to learn to live on her own — raising a family and acting as multiple parental roles. While it's exhausting, I don't remember my mother showing to be fazed by this responsibility. She always preached to me, "You are your own person," and "You are strong." I never thought much about it until I went through situations in life where I had to be strong. Through my many struggles, my mom has helped me stay on my feet and hasn't let me fall without being there to catch me.
2. She teaches you how to love.
Now this sounds cheesy. But one of the most important lessons my mom could ever teach me was to love. This is not a love you have for your favorite pop star (cough, cough JB). This is an unconditional love for people who make you happiest. But first, she taught me to love myself. I am learning that I don't need others to validate me in order for me to feel needed. I am finding a love within that I wouldn't have been able to find on my own. Then, she taught me to love people for who they are. Everyone has flaws and not everyone is going to think the way you do. But these people don't deserve to be written off completely. Conflict can be resolved if it's for someone you value.
3. You don’t need 2 parents to be happy.
Although I’ve missed the presence of my father a few times throughout my life, I wouldn’t trade my relationship with my mother for the world. She has and continues to raise me to be a strong, confident, intelligent woman on her own, and she truly is an incredible woman. We experience our childhoods in a different way than people with two parents, but that’s not a bad thing. In fact, I am happy that my mother raised me, because I now have a lifelong friend who will love me unconditionally, for the rest of my life.4. Always be the bigger person, no matter how small they try to make you feel.
It is so easy in life to succumb to the level of those trying to hurt you or bring you down. What people who like to bring you down hate to see is you standing tall, with your head up, regardless of how difficult it may be. My mom always told me that people will try to bring out the worst in you, to spark a reaction, or simply inflict pain for no reason whatsoever, but what she taught me is how to handle it. What I have learned from her is that no matter how badly people will treat you, it is entirely up to you, how you treat them back. “Kill them with kindness,” she says, even when it’s the most difficult.
5. Never rely on anybody but yourself.
This is probably one of the most important things I learned over the years from my mom. I grew up watching her get everything she wants by doing it on her own. I’ve also watched her be let down when reality doesn’t work in her favor. Whether it means reaching great success or falling flat on your face, my mom taught me to always figure things out for myself. You should never rely on another person financially or emotionally. You have to fulfill your life on your own in order to truly be successful. I learned that you have to keep yourself on solid ground and rely on nobody but yourself to make it. The floor doesn’t fall from underneath you if you’re the one who is holding it up.
6. Nothing is ever handed to you.
The definition of hustle was made when the single mom appeared. Because the majority of single mothers aren’t single by choice, our moms have to work twice as hard to make the same things happen in their homes that would happen easily in a two-parent home. Every penny has a purpose. The big things are worth more if you have to work for them.
7. Even if you think you are old enough to be independent, you're always going to need your mom.
Whether it’s directions (I have no sense of direction at all!), opening doors, or cutting my dinner. I’ll always need my mom for something!
I don’t quite know how how she does it, but she continues to amaze me every single day and I could never be more grateful! She are my mother, my father, and my biggest role model and everything I am is because of her. Read more about my mom in an earlier article that I wrote: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/an-open-letter-to-my-mom-who-plays-both-roles-as-single-parent