These cliche pieces of advice make my head hurt. The attempt each one makes at letting the hurting person down easy is less than impressive, and actually, can cause more damage than just being straight forward.
1. "One day he'll realize what he lost, and he'll come running back."
I'm sorry, but this fairytale bullshit advice, no matter how good it might feel to hear in the moment, will only hurt your friend more at the end of the day. We all know how humans work. We look for any excuse to soften the blow- in fact, we often make excuses for the people that hurt us.
"He's actually a really good guy deep down"
"I misinterpreted what she said"
"They didn't mean it like that"
She'll be sitting around with her hopes high, and when he doesn't come back around, or when she sees him out with another girl, it'll feel like the bandaid was just ripped off an old wound- no matter how "over him" she thinks or says she is.
2. "It will all get better in time."
No, it won't. Because time doesn't make things better. Changing your mindset makes things better. Simply wanting things to get better makes things better. Time doesn't make things better. You can't just sit around and wait for things to happen for you. They won't happen unless you do something to make them happen.
3. "Everything happens for a reason."
Yeah, they do. And this piece of advice is definitely okay when it's used at the right time, but so many people use this advice as a bandage instead of thinking about what it really means.
Every single thing that you do today will affect your future in some way. The choices you make will play a role in how your story plays out down the road.
It might be a nice phrase to hear when that guy you really liked turned out to be cheating on you with one of your best friends. In fact, your friends will probably justify this phrase by saying that you found this out now before you got in too deep. That the reason he cheated on you was because he wasn't right for you and you will find someone better someday.
And while these things might be true, the fact of the matter is, you ignored your intuition when it told you he was a player. You silenced the unsettling feeling in your stomach when he smiled at your friend in a way that made you question his feelings for you. These signs happened for a reason too.
No, it's not your fault that he cheated, but don't use this phrase as a band-aid to soften a harsh blow. Use it to look back in hindsight so that you may be wiser in the future.
4. "Life's a b*tch."
Sure, it can be tough sometimes, but saying this simple phrase won't change anything you're going through-- in fact, it's an excuse for the way things are going, and it's an excuse for anything that goes wrong in the future. Like I said before, things happen because of choices we have made in our past.
Don't misinterpret this-- I'm not telling you to place blame on yourself or anyone else for that matter. I'm just telling you to accept these truths, take responsibility when responsibility needs to be taken, and move forward.
5. "Good things come to those who wait."
Sure, patience is a virtue, but the fact of the matter is that waiting for what you want means you probably don't really want it that bad.
I do believe the timing is important in life, but you will never get what you want if you sit around and wait. You'll only get what you deserve (which might be nothing at all).
6. "You don't need anyone but yourself."
That's just not true. No matter how powerful you feel saying it, and no matter how badly someone hurt you, it's just not true.
As humans, we were created to need each other. And according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, in order to reach self-actualization, one needs to first attain a sense of belongingness, love, and community bonding.
This phrase is really just an overdramatic way of saying "I'm so sick of people being unreliable," and if that's what you mean, that's what should be said instead.
7. "Do what you love and the money will follow."
Not necessarily. You can't love working at a dead-end, minimum wage job so much expecting it to take you anywhere. What this piece of advice should be is "Do what you love and if you love it enough, the money won't matter".