7 Common Pieces of Advice That Everyone Needs To Stop Giving

7 Common Pieces of Advice That Everyone Needs To Stop Giving

Because they might be giving the wrong message.
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These cliche pieces of advice make my head hurt. The attempt each one makes at letting the hurting person down easy is less than impressive, and actually, can cause more damage than just being straight forward.

1. "One day he'll realize what he lost, and he'll come running back."

I'm sorry, but this fairytale bullshit advice, no matter how good it might feel to hear in the moment, will only hurt your friend more at the end of the day. We all know how humans work. We look for any excuse to soften the blow- in fact, we often make excuses for the people that hurt us.

"He's actually a really good guy deep down"

"I misinterpreted what she said"

"They didn't mean it like that"

She'll be sitting around with her hopes high, and when he doesn't come back around, or when she sees him out with another girl, it'll feel like the bandaid was just ripped off an old wound- no matter how "over him" she thinks or says she is.

2. "It will all get better in time."

No, it won't. Because time doesn't make things better. Changing your mindset makes things better. Simply wanting things to get better makes things better. Time doesn't make things better. You can't just sit around and wait for things to happen for you. They won't happen unless you do something to make them happen.

3. "Everything happens for a reason."

Yeah, they do. And this piece of advice is definitely okay when it's used at the right time, but so many people use this advice as a bandage instead of thinking about what it really means.

Every single thing that you do today will affect your future in some way. The choices you make will play a role in how your story plays out down the road.

It might be a nice phrase to hear when that guy you really liked turned out to be cheating on you with one of your best friends. In fact, your friends will probably justify this phrase by saying that you found this out now before you got in too deep. That the reason he cheated on you was because he wasn't right for you and you will find someone better someday.

And while these things might be true, the fact of the matter is, you ignored your intuition when it told you he was a player. You silenced the unsettling feeling in your stomach when he smiled at your friend in a way that made you question his feelings for you. These signs happened for a reason too.

No, it's not your fault that he cheated, but don't use this phrase as a band-aid to soften a harsh blow. Use it to look back in hindsight so that you may be wiser in the future.

4. "Life's a b*tch."

Sure, it can be tough sometimes, but saying this simple phrase won't change anything you're going through-- in fact, it's an excuse for the way things are going, and it's an excuse for anything that goes wrong in the future. Like I said before, things happen because of choices we have made in our past.

Don't misinterpret this-- I'm not telling you to place blame on yourself or anyone else for that matter. I'm just telling you to accept these truths, take responsibility when responsibility needs to be taken, and move forward.

5. "Good things come to those who wait."

Sure, patience is a virtue, but the fact of the matter is that waiting for what you want means you probably don't really want it that bad.

I do believe the timing is important in life, but you will never get what you want if you sit around and wait. You'll only get what you deserve (which might be nothing at all).

6. "You don't need anyone but yourself."

That's just not true. No matter how powerful you feel saying it, and no matter how badly someone hurt you, it's just not true.

As humans, we were created to need each other. And according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, in order to reach self-actualization, one needs to first attain a sense of belongingness, love, and community bonding.

This phrase is really just an overdramatic way of saying "I'm so sick of people being unreliable," and if that's what you mean, that's what should be said instead.

7. "Do what you love and the money will follow."

Not necessarily. You can't love working at a dead-end, minimum wage job so much expecting it to take you anywhere. What this piece of advice should be is "Do what you love and if you love it enough, the money won't matter".

Cover Image Credit: Union Line

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup


Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.

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We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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