Sex education is a vital learning experience for young people, and the way that it is currently being taught is unacceptable. Too many people view sex as embarrassing, and being someone who, until recently, believed sex was synonymous with rape, it would have put my mind at ease if the topic wasn't so taboo.

Here are six ways Sex Education should be changed to be more realistic.

1. Get rid of the abstinence-only based teachings

It's controversial, I get it. I'm not here to get into a debate, but teaching abstinence is not, or ever will be, the best way to keep young people safe. Abstinence is a personal choice that I respect 100 percent, but that's all it is, a personal choice. Teaching things like, "the only way to guarantee that you won't get pregnant or an STD is to abstain from sex completely until you are married" won't help. Sure, you can't get pregnant or an STD if you aren't having sex, but all that statement does is instill fear and shame into unmarried people who are having sex, or who aren't but don't plan on being abstinent. Instead of scaring and shaming young people, let's teach them other ways to stay safe. A few examples would be, condom usage, different forms of contraceptives, and what a dental dam is and how to make one.

2. Condom distribution and demonstration

In my home state of New Jersey, our health teachers were not allowed to give us condoms or show us how to properly put them on. "Pinch the tip and roll," doesn't really give us much to go on. Not to mention how they can be used alternatively to a dental dam. Young people know when they are ready to have sex. Giving out condoms or teaching them how they're used isn't going to encourage them to go out and have sex right after class. Even if it did, wouldn't you rather they were protected and educated?

3. Stop the victim blaming mentality

Never once in a Sex-Ed class was there a lesson on why you shouldn't rape. Never once was there a discussion on consent. It's time to drill in to students heads that no means no and that being intoxicated isn't an excuse for your actions, and that you can't make conscious decisions about your sex life while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Telling girls not to drink at parties or not to wear revealing clothing, only tells them that, if they are raped, it is their fault. It teaches us to believe that it truly is a man's world, and that men can't be held responsible for their actions if they had been drinking or if a woman's shoulder, thigh, or cleavage is exposed.

4. More LGBT+ lessons

The way I look at it is, Sex-Ed lesson plans are written with the assumption that all students being taught are heterosexual. We learned that being gay or straight were our only options, when in reality there are many other sexualities that we may identify better with. Where is the lesson on asexuality or pansexuality? What about different gender identities? Along with sexuality and gender identity, safe sex for members of the LGBT+ community is hardly taught. We learned about condoms on penises to prevent STDs, STIs, and AIDs. But what about condoms on sex toys or the importance of cleaning them for couples sharing? It's time to get with the times and think about how diverse classrooms are.

5. Open and safe discussions at home

I refused to let my parents give me 'the talk'. I was embarrassed by the whole concept of sex, and I don't blame my parents, but it would have been helpful if they were more educated on how to properly approach the subject. Everyone dreads getting the talk from their family, and I think the best way to fix that is to keep the topic neutral. Parents, don't let it be awkward. You are the adult, everyone knows sex exists, and keeping your home a safe, non-judgmental place for questions and discussion will help your children trust you when they really do need advice.

6. What your body goes through during and after pregnancy

This is great for all students to learn about. You don't just carry a child for nine months, give birth, and your physical and mental health is tip top shape right away. There is way more to it. Recently, someone very important to me gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby. During her labor, the topic of a Cesarean birth was brought up quite a bit. While she wanted to do anything she could to deliver her baby naturally, time was running out and the reality of a C-section was approaching fast. What she said to me made me extremely sad for all women whose birth plan doesn't go accordingly. "I fee like a failure as a woman," is what she wrote to me at 3:30 am. While everything ended up happening in her favor and she was able to give birth naturally, that sentence still haunts me. Along the roads of her life she was taught that she needed to do things a certain way to earn her keep as a woman. That type of mentality needs to be erased completely, it is unhealthy and damaging in the long run. Postpartum depression is real and dangerous as well, for both parents. Symptoms and warning signs should be taught along with how to get help and why it is important and admirable to do so.

Again, I am not looking for a debate. These are things that I feel as thought need significant improvement in our Sex-Ed curriculum and family homes, in order to ensure the sexual safety of our population. Sex is important, natural, and inevitable; and young people deserve true, honest and realistic education and resources.