Everyone should work in the food industry at least once in their lives. Why? So that they know the struggle and have more compassion for the staff of a restaurant once they get a full-time salary job. Some people work in the food industry for all of their adult lives. But for those of you who have never worked in the food industry, here's a quick guide on everything you can do wrong from the minute you step foot in the restaurant.

1. Seat Yourself

Yeah, there's a sign right there that says "Please wait to be seated" but nah, you don't have to listen to it! You are the outlier, the special one who doesn't have to listen to blatantly clear signs. It's just there for decoration. But, just know that your wait staff is going to be like this:


2. Ask the Hostess Every 5 Minutes About Where You are on the Wait List

She said she'll let you know, but why would you believe her? With those shifty eyes and that $8 an hour pay rate, she probably doesn't know how to do her job. The best way to get seated is to just do her job for her! You're a party of 22? Even more the reason to get seated first! I mean, why is there even a host if you know you're top priority?


3. Bring the Messiest Children You Can Find

Why get a babysitter for the night when you can just bring your kids with you? This way, they can make as big of a mess they'd like! Bring outside food, let them throw their goldfish crackers on the ground, go crazy! I mean, you're not the one who's going to have to pick it up, right?


4. Come in 20 Minutes Till Close

Now, this is probably the most effective way to piss off your waitstaff. Take notes. Come into the restaurant in the last half hour and annoyance of the wait staff is guaranteed. Note: For extra credit, stay for an hour after you've finished your meal. Talk about anything and everything. Your satisfaction (when you see the annoyed look on their faces) guaranteed!


5. Leave a 50 Cent Tip After Great Service

Do you want food now, but you don't want to pay that steep, 2 dollar tip after? Then this is the method for you! I mean, what is the wait staff here for other than to give you great service for zero money in return? Think of them as volunteers. They're just here to wait on you and tailor to your luxurious lifestyle. At least you pissed them off after they missed the chance to spit in your food!


6. Ask for a Million Samples of the Wine Selection, and Then Order a Water

What better way to get drunk than through free samples? It's not like that wine costs money or anything! Water is a much healthier option.


Now that you're an expert on how to piss off your wait staff, get out there! Ruffle some wait staff tail-feathers!