Chances are, at some time or another, you’ve found yourself beefing with a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend.
Or, at least, you secretly loathe the person from afar.
It may be the other way around and you’re the newest boo thing hated by your partner’s friend group. Either way, this is a classic conflict and it’s pretty much unavoidable. After all, who could possibly be good enough for our best friends?
It’s a tall order to fill and a recipe for conflict, so there are a few things to keep in mind:
1. You only know one side of the story.
Sure, you’re going to side with your friend no matter what. But hearing the run-down of every fight from his/her point of view makes it almost impossible to understand the other side of the story. The bad guy might deserve a little sympathy, too.
2. Your friend tells you about all of the negative.
Not only are the stories from a biased perspective, but they usually focus on the negative. Your friend rants to you about all of the annoying things his/her partner does, and (hopefully) doesn’t drone on too much about the lovey-dovey things. This is completely natural. We don’t need to hear about every little sickeningly sweet detail. However, it’s easy for the regular boyfriend-bashing sessions to leave a bad impression on the best friends.
3. You want the very best for your best friend.
Your best friend is like your beloved child, and you are the dad on the porch with the shotgun. If someone does any of your loved ones wrong, you are quick to kick ‘em to the curb.
4. You don’t love your best friend’s partner.
Another reason you are quick to wish your friend would give that special someone the boot— you don’t have a soft spot for him/her. Your best friend is blinded by love, and you see right through the shenanigans. When this is the case, it’s extremely hard to be patient with your lovestruck friend putting up with things he/she does not deserve.
5. At times, we do need critical friends.
At the end of the day, whether you are the critical friend or you have judgey friends on your back, the concern comes from a good place. Sometimes, it's necessary to hear the hard truth. We all need honest advice from friends who have our best interests at heart.
6. The S.O. may have done something unforgivable.
All of these factors aside, you may have a legitimate reason to hate the boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s our responsibility to look out for our friends in the case of a toxic relationship, such as one that includes cheating. If the relationship is emotionally or physically abusive, you may need to get involved or get help to protect your friend.