It's almost a new year so it's time try to reinvent myself. It's not about the goal, it's about the attempt, right?
Here goes nothing...
New Year's Resolutions:
1) Get Fit
Okay, so flabby-abs can barely roll out of bed in the morning, never mind do a sit-up. It sure would be nice to get that beach bod that infomercials have always made me feel bad about not having. But I know myself a little too well. Anything that entails physical labor or sweating like a pig is not my forte. It's nice to dream though.
2) Stop Swearing
Son of a b*tch, this will be a hard one. My resting state of emotions is "Pissed off" and I am surrounded by a world of class A dumbasses so this sh*t is nearly impossible. Better luck next f*cking year.
3) Get Organized
Walking into my bedroom feels like playing a game of "the floor is lava" just because I have so much crap all over my floor. I think I'm better off bulldozing my room instead of trying to keep it clean.
4) Be Friendly
I'm not the easiest person to get along with, I admit. I'm really more of an acquired taste. Sometimes I think I should soften up a bit. Then another asshole enters my life and I scrap that idea for good.
5) Save Money
Long gone are the days when I looked at my bank account balance with a smile. Now, I don't even bother to look. It's just too depressing.
6) Get My Shit Together
Every year, this resolution makes it's way on my resolution list, and for good reason. I can never manage to get my life together. Where do you even start when every aspect of your life is a hot mess?