I watched Spongebob Squarepants so much when I was growing up. I thought it was absolutely hilarious, but it wasn't until recently when I happened to watch an episode of Spongebob because it was on TV. That's when my adult self was able to watch this show and think: what the hell?
1. How does he afford a spacious one bedroom house on a fry cook's salary?
You're trying to tell me that in this economy, Spongebob can afford a spacious, two-story, one-bedroom house while probably making no more than minimum wage? Completely outrageous.
2. How old is he?
Ok, so he lives alone, has a job, a pet, but is also in boating school? I don't even have a ballpark guess for this answer. Is he a middle aged man who literally never grew up and is creepily immature or is he a 20-something guy who just hasn't left his immature phase yet? I don't understand.
3. How far away is his house from the city?
The skyline of the city of Bikini Bottom if showed so often in the show, but where is spongebob's house? The city is obviously small and there's nothing around it for miles and the same with his, Patrick, and Squidward's house. So do they walk miles and miles to work every day? Or is the Krusty Krab also not located downtown? Literally what is going on here?
4. These fake arms
Everyone remembers this episode. Spongebob buys some fake inflatable arms to make him look more muscular. Who designed these? How did they not slip off every time he moved his arms? Who would believe that his arms got that huge, but the rest of his body stayed the same? Also, when he was wearing the arms, there's a scene where he is too weak to pick up his glass of water. If you can't even pick up a glass of water how do you live an average life?
5. How is Sandy a thing?
A squirrel... from Texas.... moves to the bottom of the ocean.... and wears an air helmet? The water pressure would instantly break the glass not only in her helmet but her whole house and she would be dead. Also, how did she grow grass and trees inside of her dome? Is sand good soil for trees? Her presence is completely unreasonable.
6. Pearl the whale
So let me get this straight. Pearl is a whale. Her father is a crab. We don't know what her mom looks like, but if Eugene Krabs is her biological father wouldn't she be some mixture of whale and crab, assuming her mother is also a whale. How does biology work in the ocean?
I have a million more questions for him. How is Plankton's restaurant still open? How does a computer survive underwater? Why is a fish married to a computer? Are they intimate? Can they have children? I don't know, but somehow this show continues to make me laugh even though it is completely illogical.