If there is one thing I have learned this year it is that people love Snapchat geo-tags.
There is an insisent need to keep the world updated with where you are, what you’re doing, and what the geo-tag looks like. I am guilty myself of the 60 second Snapchat stories of a dark room with flashing neon lights, the Michigan penet tag at the bottom of the screen and probably a caption of something along the lines of “best school ever” or “I love my friends.”
Currently there are only a few geo-tags that The University of Michigan offers. The strange Blue Bus one, the squirrel wearing a stripped scarf, and a few other sub-par options. But come on- for the leaders and best we really are not representing on Snapchat and that is why I have complied a list of 6 places that need geo-tags at The University of Michigan.
1.) The Ugli
Chances are that if you go to this school you spend about 89 percent of your free time in the Ugli. You study here, you’re eaten here, and unfortunately you’ve probably slept a little while here as well.
Imagine- it’s 4:00 am and you’ve just finished your essay. You open Snapchat to post a celebratory story and there is a fun geo-tag in the bottom left hand corner of a cartoon drawing of the Ugli. I can only assume this will send you into a frenzy of happiness and make those 13 hours you just spent writing the paper feel all worth it.
2.) Skeeps
During the other 11 percent of your free time you can probably be found dancing the night away at skeeps. You get dressed up in your signature black jeans, black shirt, and black choker and stand outside for 30 minutes praying the bouncer lets you in only to find out that you cant even post a Snapchat with a geo-tag celebrating your admittance.
Imagine: it’s 12:30 am you know you should have gotten here about 2 hours ago but under some grace of god there is no line and the bouncer just let you in. You go straight to the bar brushing elbows with the entire Michigan basketball team and your sorority sisters, you know this is going to be a good night. You open Snapchat to document this feeling and in the lower right hand corner is a cartoon drawing of the infamous Skeeps block M. Amazing.
3.) ‘Tina
If you’re a freshmen then odds are that the Skeeps bouncers hasn’t been nice enough to let you slip through the cracks, and you’re probably finding yourself at ‘Tina. But alas my freshmen friend do not let this get you down, there has been some legendary memories made during a ‘Tina Tuesday.
Imagine: It’s 11 pm and ‘Tina is just starting to get “lit” (or whatever it is you kids are saying these days) and you pull out your phone to snap a picture of your pitcher (which is totally against your sorority’s social media policy!! See you at standards Jamie!) and across the bottom of the screen is a geo-tag of a cartoon pitcher in fun flirty colors. Awesome!
4.) Good Time Charleys
You come for the ranch and stay for the Fishbowls. Charleys is one of the only places on campus that it is socially acceptable to start drinking at just about any time of day. There are constantly GroupMe messages inviting you to partake in a little Charleys afternoon fun and who can resist Chicken Fingers, ranch, and the magician who is constantly walking around and taking your empty glasses.
Imagine: Its 3pm and you just got out of class for the day. You check your phone and there are 76 messages about a mid-afternoon Charleys push. You practically run from Mason Hall and sit down just in time to snap a picture of your fishbowl arriving and what’s this? A row of cartoon fishbowls in fun colors lining the bottom of the picture? Thanks Snapchat.
5.) CCRB
Speaking of running, who doesn’t want to publicize their efforts to maintain a semi-healthy lifestyle in college. This is the exact reason that The University of Michigan needs to add a CCRB geotag. I can only assume that attendance at the gym would be higher than when everyone comes back to school in January with a new years resolutions that they will enviably quit.
Imagine: It is 2 pm on a Sunday and you’ve never wanted to move less. You somehow convinced yourself to get out of bed and put on some athletic gear. You walk to the gym and take a pre-workout Snapchat to send to the cute boy in your Econ class. “Getting my fitness on” Perfect caption and now all I need is that fun elliptical cartoon geo-tag on the bottom.. and… send. Legendary.
6.) Pizza House
They say that health is all about living a balanced lifestyle, unfortunately there is nothing balanced about a jumbo feta bread. But- that doesn’t stop you from posting a picture to your snapstory of the beautiful greeasey bread sitting in front of you.
Imagine: It’s 3 am and you’ve just left Ricks. You emerge from the dungeon below and your eyes bestow upon the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen, Pizza House. You wobble over with your friends and order 3 jumbo feta breads because, why not? It arrives and you take a picture- flash on to illuminate its greasy goodness- and in the bottom right hand corner is a cute minute cartoon feta bread icon. Love.