1. The Getting Ready Phase

If you're anything like me, you don't have a secret closet full of costumes, and you wind up mismatching random pieces of clothing 30 minutes prior. Finding something that makes it seem like you tried (but not too hard) can be an incredibly difficult. But somehow you always end up looking flawless.

2. The Mob Phase

At some point in the early evening, you and your friends somehow decide all at once that it's time to go. As you mob over, loud yelling, random bursts of running, and other shenanigans often occur. Although you wouldn't want to admit it, this phase can actually be the most fun of them all.

3. The "Stoke" Phase

When you first enter the party, the feeling can only be described as pure, concentrated "stoke." You see all your friends, hear (hopefully) good music, and become energized by the environment. Everything looks promising from here.

4. The Rapid Consumption Phase

In this stage, your initial stokedness about the party has died down, so you feel the sudden desire to spice things up. The frat atmosphere helps you decide that your best course of action is to mix an unknown amount of jungle juice with an unknown (large) amount of tequila. Drunk decision-making at its finest.

5. The Rave Phase

So, you probably overestimated your tolerance, and the dance floor, however crowded, now appears to be straight out of Project X. This is awesome because it's likely others see that, too, which means you get to make a fool out of yourself with no repercussions. If you reach this stage too early, though, it's pretty obvious and pretty ridiculous.

6. The Exhaustion Phase

Suddenly and sharply, the energy and vitality you experienced in the previous phase has been completely transformed into sweat. When you realize that your body is tired, your brain is fuzzy, and everything is out of place, you know it's time to go home. But hey! You made it! And, even if you feel horrible tomorrow, you can count on having had a glorious evening.