Recently, I've had to make some decisions about the type of people I let stay in my life. Friends that I've had for years I've had to admit to myself that they weren't good for me, or TO me, really.

Something that my mother said to me that really stuck with me was, "They all want someone to listen, but they aren't listeners." She said this to me after I confided in her about how I feel my friends treat me.

I have talked about my depression before, and more so with my own friends, but they seem to continually misunderstand. As a result, they've totally checked out when I try to talk about what's going on with me.

They don't understand because they've never experienced, but that doesn't excuse being apathetic. It had gotten to the point where, on several occasions, I would ignore them completely because just being around them made me more depressed.

For a long time, I thought this was my fault. I didn't understand why I had abandoned the only friends I had because on the surface, they did nothing wrong. But it was deeper than that, and I know that now.

While I have cut the majority of them out of my life, I do hope they find this somehow and try to understand why it's important to just listen, not assume or ignore.

1. It's all in your head

Some people like to think depression isn't real, that you are making it up, or being melodramatic. There are distinct differences between being depressed and just being sad. Sadness fades, but depression doesn't. Whether anyone likes it or not, this illness is chemical, not optional.

2. Depression can be cured

If you were hoping all the meds and therapy would "get rid" of my illness, sorry to burst your bubble. While some have situational reasons they become depressed, mine was genetic, therefore I am not speaking for those who have situational or seasonal depression. Several of my family members live with depression, even my own mother, so it is very likely I will live with it for the rest of my life.

Therefore, it was important for ME to understand that this is something I need to take control of on my own for the rest of my days, and that's something my friends need to understand, as well.

3. It's a sign of weakness

On the contrary, some of the strongest people I know live with mental illnesses (my mother comes to mind). Depression can affect absolutely anyone; it does not discriminate. Some people you may know and look up to most likely live with depression or another mental illness. Know that you are not weak because of something you can't help.

4. Talking about it makes it worse

Many of my friends would try to tell me "Don't think about it!" or, "Just ignore it!" What exactly do you expect me to ignore? The increased levels of an enzyme that breaks down neurotransmitters resulting in low levels of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine?

This may surprise you, Susan, but the part of my brain that makes me "happy" is all jacked up, so it's not so easy to "just ignore it." I have no control. Ignoring these symptoms makes it harder to deal, and that's why people go to therapy. To TALK. If all else fails, you need to talk through things. It feels good when someone notices a change in your mood or behavior and shows compassion and ask you what's wrong. It's sad to say the people I've had to let go were lacking in the compassion department.

5. Medication dulls you and you'll be taking them forever

Antidepressants today are safer than ever before. Their job is to correct brain chemistry, not leave you feeling "medicated" like painkillers or sedatives.

For some people, taking them makes them feel more like themselves. It takes a little while to find the right one or get the right combination, but when you do it feels way better. Some people even stop taking them when they feel well enough.

As it was described to me "It doesn't pull you out of the ocean, but it keeps your head above water."

6. The best way to help a depressed person is to cheer them up

I wish some of my friends didn't think this was true. They mean well, but a lot of the time I can't just "look on the bright side." Or snap out of it. Or stop thinking about it. The best way you can help is just listening, just f*cking sit there and listen. I don't care if you don't understand and I don't want you to give advice or try to fix it. I just want you to be a good friend and listen like I listen to you.

I realize that it's not easy to understand, and I'm not trying to force you to. I'm trying to help you become a little less ignorant. You don't have to understand the way I think or why I think that way because there is little to no explanation. I just want you to understand that this is very real, but it's not all that I am, either.