Last week, I wrote about the five guys to avoid in college. However, I left out the other half of the equation. While I'm not interested in women, I've seen and been friends with females who are — to put it nicely — less than stellar. Nothing peeves me more than the five women that I'm about to name. I hope all of you, men and women, choose to evade the clutches of these people.
1. "The Janitor"
"The Janitor" is the girl who pushes you around like you're a mop. It feels like she runs your life. She's picking out your clothes, trying to get you to spend less time with your friends and family, and dragging you to places you don't want to go. There are no ifs, ands, or buts when it comes to this "custodian". She's telling you what to do, but that should be entirely your choice. Sure, you should do things together, but by compromise, not by force. There's a difference between encouraging you to apply yourself and forcing their agenda on you. If you sense your girl or your friend may be a "janitor," confront them or get out of the supply closet while you still can!
2. "The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing"
This girl is the definition of two-faced. She compulsively lies when it matters most, fakes her interests to appease you, and makes you feel safe and secure when you really aren't. "The Wolf" could have a gnarly bite when you catch her in her web of lies. She'll try to pretend that she never lied and try to blame someone else. This one likes to point the finger and blame the pigs when she's the one blowing their houses down. Make sure you get some bricks and mortar for this devil in disguise.
3. "Silent Barb"
"Silent Barb" is a woman who's got the looks but lacks the personality — and potentially intelligence. She can't talk about real things with you when she has her own vanity on her mind. "Barb" thinks she can get by on just her looks, but she can't maintain a relationship — she doesn't have much to offer when it comes to conversation or aspirations. Her personality is as stale as the crackers in the back of your pantry, so save yourself the time and avoid "Silent Barb".
4. "Miss Jagger"
(She) Can't get no satisfaction...
She's the girl who is never happy about anything. You give her an inch and she wants a mile. She always wants more than she has but never realizes that you can't always get what you want. "Miss Jagger" is a grade-A grumpy-gills and will make you miserable trying to meet her expectations. She may also be the girl who is always in a relationship. She can't be alone.
By the way, you're welcome for the Rolling Stones reference.
5. "The Architect"
"The Architect" is the girl who is always looking for "projects". If you have personal issues, she's on you like glue. She wants to be the one who magically fixes everything, which isn't realistic. Her plans are similar to "The Janitor" except that she's not as bossy or forceful. It's a form of subtle manipulation that she poses on you to piece together the person she wants you to be. She wants to build her own "masterpiece" when she should just love you for who you are and take everything day by day. Take a wrecking ball to her blueprints before it's too late.
6. "The Wedding Planner"
Do I hear church bells? For your sake, I hope not.
This is the girl who jumps into everything way too fast. Her only speed is super-sonic and she doesn't know how to take things slow. You could be casually seeing one another for a week and she'd start naming your hypothetical kids. "The Wedding Planner" may also be referred to as "crazy", "insane", or "asylum-bound". She wants the rest of her life to start right now and if you don't jump out of the aisle, she'll have you in a tux before you can say "I do".
There are a lot of girls in this world with brains far more complex than the average person, but that doesn't stand for everyone. Similar to what I said last week, there are some great girls out there who are worth sifting through a bar crowd or swiping through Tinder for.
I hope your take-away is that you can be more picky with your dating choices and that (if you identify as any of these titles) you can learn from the more drastic faults.