She asks the long-dreaded question: “So what are we?” You panic a little. Are you together? Exclusive? Having casual sex? You are not quite sure.
Our generation has developed a “hook-up culture” that makes sex more casual, taking the effort and commitment out of this once very intimate activity. In fact, just hooking up is so easy: It doesn’t require communication (with the ambiguous label of “just hooking up,” there is no need to fully DTR) or the emotional commitment that a relationship requires.
Just hooking up provides us with a temporary satisfaction, as we feel wanted just for the night. This culture is similar to our obsession with technology and social media. We post pictures on our social media accounts for “likes” and comments, for the temporary attention and feeling of attractiveness. Hooking up doesn’t require us to develop any sort of interpersonal relationship, something that seems to be lacking since text messages have become our main medium of communication.
But in fact, we are so afraid of commitment, we would rather have uncertainty. The nonchalant attitude associated with just hooking up prevents us from seeming too eager or from facing rejection. We would rather live in the gray area of not knowing if we are together or broken up.
It also seems that this culture has promoted the concept of apathy, the race to see who can care less. We don’t want to look like we are trying too hard or to crack and show that we might have actually “caught the feels.”
Although it may seem that men are the main proponents of this culture, it seems that this culture also resonates well among women attending elite universities. The 2013 New York Times article titled “Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too” describes these driven young women as having high aspirations, and attending college with the goal to build their resume, not to find a boyfriend.
Time Magazine labels our generation as the “Me Me Me Generation” referring to us as narcissistic. We are all so focused on ourselves that we couldn’t possibly take the time and energy to genuinely care about and deeply connect with another person.
But what happened to actually taking time to get to know the person on an intimate level -- not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally? How has Netflix replaced going on a date as a prerequisite to sex?
The hook-up culture has led to a decline not only in serious relationship but also in young married couples. A Gallup Poll published in June of 2015 showed that the number of U.S. adults between the ages of 18 and 29 who are married has declined from 29 percent to 16 percent in the last ten years.
Surely, we all need to take time to ourselves to figure out our lives and to build a perfect career, but we often overlook how hard it might be to find the perfect person. At the end of the day, what are all the riches and material possessions worth if we have no one to share them with?