It's 2:37 AM, and it's the eleventh time I've woken up tonight. My house is warmer on the interior--around 90 degrees--because the AC hasn't been on all day. Theoretically, it should be 68 degrees outside, but all I feel is sweat and a sense of panic.

It's 2:48 AM, and all I want to do is scream in frustration. Why couldn't I stay asleep?

It's 3:15 AM, and I laugh at myself for my plight. I had made an effort to go to bed early this night; I had been tucked away under my blankets at 9 PM, yet I could not seem to stay asleep for more than half an hour.

It's 3:19 AM, and I feel the exhaustion from yesterday. My body is sore. I am tired. My eyelids are heavy. I want nothing more than to be fast asleep right now.

It's 3:24 AM, and I start to hear the static sounds of silence. The night has even fallen asleep; the bugs are no longer chirping outside my window. The sky is still, and the stars hang in a slumber. The treelines in the distance are becoming more defined by the minute, as if the sky is resisting to its own brightening.

It's 3:30 AM, and I'm starting to worry that I'll be tired for cross country practice tomorrow. I mean, later today.

It's 3:47 AM, and I've warmed up a bowl of rice to snack on. I've accepted my fate of being awake.

It's 3:48 AM, and I'm really enjoying this rice. It's a long white rice littered with saffron. The flavor is like nothing I've ever known.

It's 3:55 AM, and my mind begins to race with questions.

It's 3:56 AM, and I'm asking myself how I got so lucky to be born with the conditions I had. How did I get so lucky to be raised by the people I did? How did I get so lucky to go to the school that I do? How did I get so lucky to have met the people I did?

It's 3:58 AM, and I'm realizing that life is very arbitrary. Had one thing been different--if we hadn't moved to Grand Rapids, if I had gone to a different school, if I had made different friends--I would not be who I am today. That sounds logical enough, but it's also crazy to think about.

It's 4:06 AM, and had this been a week ago, my alarm would have gone off. I would have been up and getting ready for zero hour. I would have been heating water to make tea. I would have been checking the weather to decide on what to wear.

It's 4:09 AM, and I'm continuing with my "would-have-been's." I would have been tying my hair up into a ponytail. I would have been watching the sky get lighter. I would have been checking my school email to see if zero hour had been cancelled.

It's 4:11 AM, and if I had caught the cancellation of zero hour early enough, I would have gone back to sleep. More often than not, however, I would not know the verdict until I got to school. At that point, I had two options: nap in my car or nap in the school until first hour started.

It's 4:39 AM, and I've decided I might as well get up and start my day early, zero-hour style.