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Ah, the 2016 election. We’ve laughed. We’ve cried. We can’t believe it has actually come to this.
Believe me, I am just as shocked as you that Hillary managed to wheedle her way into the Democratic nomination. Honestly, I would do whatever it takes to make sure she doesn’t win the general election in November. I’ve seen lots of different lists like this one circulating the Internet, so I’ve finally decided to contribute mine. Here are 50 things I’m willing to do to keep Hillary out of office.
1. Walk on hot coals.
2. Stick a fork in an electrical outlet.
3. Stare at the sun for half an hour.
4. Put my head up a bee hive.
5. Get struck by lightning.
6. Run into oncoming traffic.
7. Sleep on a bed of nails.
8. Eat a bowl of broken glass.
9. Jump out of a plane with a faulty parachute.
10. Take Calculus.
11. Get stranded on an island.
12. Volunteer for the Hunger Games.
13. Be stuck in a straightjacket when I have to pee.
14. Live in a world without "Pokémon Go."
15. Get hit by a comet.
16. Cut off my hands.
17. Read "Fifty Shades of Grey."
18. Watch "Fifty Shades of Grey."
19. Sail on the Titanic.
20. Listen to “Friday” by Rebecca Black on repeat.
21. Have a dartboard as a face.
22. Never be allowed to pet a dog again.
23. Have no opposable thumbs.
24. Spontaneously combust.
25. Go swimming with sharks.
26. Give up eating chocolate.
27. Let Negan beat me with his bat.
28. Find myself in a real-life horror movie.
29. Jump into a volcano.
30. Have my computer die one minute before my essay is due.
31. Only be able to take bad pictures.
32. Drink ketchup with every meal.
33. Smell like rotten food.
34. Fall from the top of a tree.
35. Be the victim of a TV prank show.
36. Re-watch the beginning of "Up" every day.
37. Have Miley Cyrus as a role model.
38. Get a bowl haircut.
39. Re-take kindergarten.
40. Work at the Krusty Krab.
41. Get braces again.
42. Live life as an ant.
43. Be a reality TV star.
44. Accidentally sleep through fifty years.
45. Trip on a banana peel.
46. Eat raw meat.
47. Walk on a tightrope across New York City.
48. Be forced to learn Mandarin Chinese in a day.
49. Eat a bug.
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.