5 Ways to make new friends as an adult

5 Ways to make new friends as an adult

because interactions is what makes us human

I always was a social butterfly. I wouldn't characterize myself as the popular girl in high school but more like a floater, I talked to everyone but never identified myself with a main group. Needless to say, making new friends was never a problem for me, until I graduated from University. That is when I realized that making friends within an institution, such as school was nothing like making friends outside of it.

I was still very social when I graduated but I realized that my circle was not expanding. I was longing for new interactions and new connections but it wasn't happening. Why? How can someone so social, have a hard time with this!? I even wondered if I should engage people in conversation and then casually asked at the end, "Hey, do you want to be friends?" I convinced myself that it was too drastic and desperate. I needed to do something different but remain sane.

New York helped me in that regard. Here's how I found ways to meet new people and forge new friendships in a new city.

1. Join a social network

Social networking sites are the perfect way to meet new people. When I first moved to New York City I joined Meetup.com and went out to several events. I did not feel shy or out of place because I would always pick events or activities that sparked my interests, that way I always felt like I was winning. Even, if I didn't meet anyone that I felt could be a long time friend, it didn't feel like a waste of time because I, at least enjoyed the actual event.

2. Socialize with your co-workers

Whether your work at a job that you love or despise, you might have a lot in common with one or two of your co-workers. I guess, you won't know it unless you give it a try. Next time you find yourself at the office, don't engage in conversation related to work with your co-workers, instead diversify your topics and ask about their interests and what they usually like to do after work. For all you know, they could be inspiring musicians, painters, writers or what have you. You get my point! They could be super freaking interesting is what I am getting at.

Or, if you don't feel comfortable doing that in the office, next time one of your co-workers suggest to go out for happy hour, go and enjoy the moment with them.

3. Go out to events

There's always an event taking place, no matter what day of the week it is. I guess, this largely depends on where you live. If you live in a city, shame on you for not taking advantage of all the wonderful events taking place. That was a joke! But, on a more serious tone go out and socialize if you can. Check out event taking place at your local museum, library or bar. And so what if you'll have to go by yourself, there are so many people there surely there's going to be one or two people that you'll vibe with.

4. Leave your house

I guess, that should have been #1. If you want to make new friends, the most important step would be to get yourself out there. That is one of the most and hardest step, depending on your personality. But remember, if making friends is truly what you seek for then you shouldn't think twice about leaving the house.

5. Take a chance out of your comfort zone

I remember one day, sharing with my co-worker that I had met an interesting man while on the train. I described to my co-worker the pleasant conversation we had and how interesting he was. I was explaining such a positive experience with my coworkers that I was truly confused at his reaction. He was appalled at the fact that I would speak to anybody on the train and advised me to never do that again. While I agree, that you should be cautious, I cannot wrap my head around missing out on potential meaningful interactions based on fear.

So, don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with people around you. You don't have to wait to go out to an event or a specific social networking party to gather the courage to talk to someone. You can do that at the checkout line, on the train, at a restaurant or any place really. Be vulnerable and willing and the rest will natural unfold and fall into place.

Cover Image Credit: Black Girls Killing It

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.


To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Why You Should Bring Your Close Friend As Your Formal Date

Before asking that cute girl to formal think about asking a friend


Every year since I was a junior in high school I have always looked forward to homecoming or prom. When I got to college I began to look forward to my fraternity formal. I was never concerned with what to wear or the expense of formal but rather who I was going to ask. It can be difficult to make a decision. If you ask anyone friends with me they will tell you how I am one of the most indecisive people out there. There are so many people I am friendly with or have a close relationship that it can feel difficult to make a decision. But let's look at that phrase again. You might think why does he want to bring someone who is his friend to his fraternity formal rather than someone he likes or is dating. To answer this question, some of the girls I have liked I have not been able to be the true me around and that also applies to the girls I have dated as well. I am different around my friends and I want someone to know the real me rather than me just having to pretend.

Maybe I am still experiencing the effects of a fun weekend but I have noticed that every formal or prom that I have brought a date with not only was a fun formal but interacted and connected well with my friends. That is the main thing I look for in a formal date, they need to be liked by my friends and many of them are still pretty friendly after the formal. You are spending the weekend with them and the drive down for you formal. There will be a lot of time spent with your date so it is important to bring someone you know you will have fun with. I am not saying that there isn't anything wrong with bringing someone else but I always found it best to bring a friend if you are not dating someone.

Think about the people you know you will always have fun with. This can be an indication of who you should bring and why but you should also think about the positives in this situation. Your fun and the time spent with the people should be prioritized before anything else. This event is about you and you should have someone with you that you know is fun to be around and someone you can enjoy yourself around along with your friends. Friends know you as well as you know yourself so there is not an idea of having to pretend to be someone else. The good thing about friends is that you do not run out of things to talk about and there is always something new to learn. Take your formal as a trip that you get to experience with the people closest to you. That is my take.

The key for me is to know that I will have fun with my date at formal. The drive to formal can be long and you are sharing a hotel room with your date along with spending time with them during the trip. I talk a lot. I want someone I know who I can carry a conversation with and will not just respond with words such as Yeah or Sounds good. I have always been able to remember not only my formals but specific parts of it as well. I think this is possible because of who I have brought and the memories I made with them.

Formals are important to everyone so think about who you want to spend that moment with. There is nothing wrong with bringing someone who you like but there also is nothing wrong with bringing a friend. Some people might bring someone they are dating but you should not have to compare yourself to other people. Do what makes you happy but remember this weekend is about you and you deserve to bring someone you will have fun with.

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