When I tell someone how long I’ve been dating my boyfriend, not to mention that we were high school sweethearts, people are either in awe or confused. When I add that we’ve been long-distance for the majority of our relationship, I usually get, “Good for you, but I would never be able to do that.” I always want to say, “Yeah, well, I didn’t think I would be able to, either.” Yet here I am, thinking about how and why we’ve made it this far.
1. Make Time For Each Other
This goes for all relationships, but especially for long-distance relationships. Spending time together is crucial. My boyfriend and I always brainstorm how and when we’re going to see each other next. We also usually count down the time, though this can be a bit excruciating in certain situations. We both go to school in Virginia, but my boyfriend lives in Texas. He studied abroad this past fall semester, while I studied abroad in the spring semester. We only saw each other once in nine months, so counting down the days was just depressing. Instead, we made sure to video chat and send each other relevant videos and songs. On the other hand, it also helped not to force communication. "Me" time is just as important as "we" time in a relationship. However, time spent with each other, in any way or form, helped us close the distance.
2. Fight
I don’t mean fight with your significant other, though playful bantering is always good. I mean mentally fight to be with them. Fight the distance, the haters, and your own fears. Fight every obstacle. Because, let’s be real, there are far more obstacles in a long-distance relationship than a short-distance relationship (that’s totally a real term). My boyfriend and I have to deal with the fact that sometimes our plans crumble to pieces. We can’t always hang out when and where we want to. Sometimes money is tight. Yet, we continue to look forward to seeing each other. We continue to fight the negativity and focus on the positivity. Because when we actually get to see each other, it’s always worth it.
3. Appreciate The Little Things
Sometimes seeing each other after a long time can be a little weird. Is this person real? Is he really standing next to me? And has he always been that tall? Distance helps you appreciate the tiniest points of your relationship. After the initial feeling of "wow, I must be dreaming," I pick up where I left off. I talk about things that I normally talk about. We go out to eat, hang out in a bookstore, and do normal activities. I appreciate the small gestures that my boyfriend does, like pump gas for me, or tuck my hair behind my ear, because I know how much I’ll miss them when he’s gone. Though we also plan and dream of bigger, more adventurous plans together, appreciating the little things helps when you have to separate once again.
4. Be Honest
It’s easy to say “stay positive,” but it’s one thing to be positive all the time. Sometimes you’re going to feel down. Let your significant other know so that they can be there for you and help you through it. My boyfriend has seen me through some of my best times and some of my worst. Sometimes, one of us will close up and hold in our emotions. But we remind each other that we are each other’s biggest support group. It’s okay to tell each other how we honestly feel.
5. Remember to Live Life
Sometimes, late at night, when I’m trying sleep, all I can think about is the fact that I could have spent those two hours on the Internet hanging out with my boyfriend. We could have had a deep conversation, cuddled, and eaten pizza together. Sometimes I just have to realize that it’s okay for us to have separate dreams and separate experiences. Then, when we see each other again, we can talk about all of our adventures and experience new ones together. Of course, it would be much easier if we saw each other on a regular basis, but that’s life. As long as we continue to support each other and be there for each other, it’ll all work out in the end. After all, we’ve survived this long.