Asking for permission to take someone’s daughter on a date? Curfew? Asking someone out… ON THE PHONE? The dating world has drastically changed. Bizarre dating expectations and rules have completely changed the game and how it’s played. For those of you new on the dating scene, here’s some unspoken rules that you need to master to find your next fling:

1. Social Media

ammentorp @ 123rf.com

Let’s be honest. You wear your social research skills with honor. Social media is essential to modern dating and is reason alone for why the game has changed. Within minutes you can check a few platforms and have a full understanding of who that person is, what they are about and if things will work out.

Social stalking is one hundred percent acceptable in modern dating. As soon as we decide we’re into someone, it goes from being a crush to becoming a full-on reconnaissance mission.

Let’s break this down. You meet someone and decide you are interested. So as soon as you are out of their presence, you pull out that phone and fire up a number of social platforms and start digging. I’m talking we search pictures, statuses, family, friends, schools, interest, so on and so forth. I mean, if I don’t know your dog’s name by the time I leave your profile, I’m not doing my job right.

Tagged photos are everything. They say a picture’s worth a thousand words, and trust me when I say that the photos you’re tagged in tell a wonderful story. We will scour the photos of you from start to finish, most recent, to the very first one back in ‘09 when yous still wore those gray cargo shorts. Yeah, I saw.

Then, to tell you the truth, when and if you actually enter a relationship, it gets even more intense. We don’t talk about it, but we keep constant watch over all social media. We know who likes, comments, or even looks at all of each other’s post, we know who you’re messaging, and we comment on all of your posts just to make our presence known. Ever vigilant, always watching.

2. Friends

Cathy Yeulet @123rf.com

Life is busy, you may have school, a job, a ton of friends, involved in an organization, and then you are dating someone, and still want time for yourself! That’s a lot to juggle!

First, remember that it isn’t a mutually exclusive arrangement - you can have a relationship and friends - it just requires a balance. Your friends want to make sure you know they still exist, so be sure to maintain your friendships and spend quality time with them so they don’t slip away. At the same time, you’ll want to spend time with your significant other that you care about. Don’t feel bad when you want to spend some one-on-one time with them - you both deserve that too!

Secondly, once you enter a relationship, your friends are each other’s friends. This means that you will all spend time together as a group often. A piece of advice: if their BFF isn’t your favorite person in the world - make nice. They will always choose the best friend and it isn’t worth stirring up that kind of trouble if you both aren’t each other’s cup of tea.

All in all, it’s a balancing act between your friendships and your relationships in order for them to work, so just be attentive to both. In most cases, you have friends with significant others, or ones that want to be set up - so just set a double date and you can do both easily!

3. It’s okay to take charge.

linux87 @ 123rf.com

This rule is especially important for the ladies. It’s okay to take the lead in a relationship. It’s okay for you to decide what you want to do, where you want to go, when you want to do it.

In the modern dating scene, don’t be afraid to take charge.

Don’t get me wrong, this applies to both guys and girls - don’t take the backseat in a relationship. You have a voice, and you should use it. If you have a date idea in mind, take charge and make it happen. There is no “man” or “woman” in the relationship anymore, you both have just as much say in anything that you two do, it’s a partnership.

Chivalry isn’t dead, but the days of waiting for your knight in shining armor to come and scoop you up are gone. Climb down from your ivory tower, and go ask him if he wants to go out for some drinks!

4. Boundaries

Nicoleta Ifrim-Ionescu @123rf.com

In today’s dating scene, the boundaries have changed. With social media check-ins, tagged photos, and today’s technology of texts, tracking and more - it’s a different world.

These changes can easily give way to untrusting behavior such as checking a significant other’s phone, reading text messages, and more.

The best way for you and your significant other to survive this modern day monster is to be open and honest with each other - early and always. When you decide to start dating, have an open conversation with each other and promise to respect each other’s privacy, make no assumptions and trust one another. If either of you have a bad feeling or an inkling, be direct and ask one another in an open and frank conversation.

This is called being an adult everyone, get ready for the real world.

5. Dates

William Perugini @ 123rf.com

One of the biggest aspects of dating that has evolved with us today is the very idea of the dates themselves. In today’s dating scene - you don’t even have to go out to have a date anymore! Really though, when is the last time someone called you and asked you out, “properly?”

Having milkshakes at the local diner has been replaced with grabbing a couple casual drinks at a local bar. Good rule of thumb is to be creative and have an open mind when it comes to dates.You two can have a quiet night indoors, watching movies, having a drink or two, talking about life.

Dates don’t always have to be at night either, a lot of the best date ideas are early morning coffee before work, mid-day brunch, or a day date with a fun and different activity. Go to the zoo, spend a day at the waterpark, take a cooking class, take a random road trip - do something fun and crazy!

I find it best just to use your imagination, and keep each other’s interest in mind. Don’t let things become repetitive, dates are the perfect way to keep your partner on their toes. Be spontaneous, be adventurous, be unique.

***

When it comes to today’s dating scene, there are a lot of unspoken rules, and I hope you have a better idea of how things work now. We have our own style, our own way of doing things, there is something to the way we go about dating that is inherently our own, and it is what makes us different.

While our methods may be untraditional, it is what sets us apart and certainly made dating more interesting. Take this advice and you will surely be able to navigate this new “norm” of dating!

Since 1971, Starbucks Coffee Company has been committed to ethically sourcing and roasting high-quality arabica coffee. Today, with more than 21,000 stores around the globe, Starbucks is the premier roaster and retailer of specialty coffee in the world. Starbucks Doubleshot is a bold, authentic Starbucks coffee experience you can enjoy whenever and wherever you want. Through our unwavering commitment to excellence and our guiding principles, we bring the unique Starbucks Experience to life for every customer through every cup. To share the experience, please visit our stores or online at Doubleshot.com and Starbucks.com.